I can’t believe it’s not butthurt

He’s back, and this time … well, he’s back, anyway.

And what’s more:

But then, he’s always been like that:

Cam Edwards, contemplating the Democratic front-runner: “I look at Howard Dean and see a guy who’s going to invade Mexico because Taco Bell got his order wrong.”

And that was 2003, fercryingoutloud.

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Expect to be clawed

And, well, what the hell.

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Strange search-engine queries (586)

Welcome to Monday. Please don’t yawn. This is a weekly compendium of search strings which brought this very site to the attention of random Googlers and Bingers and whatever out there.

Oh, all right then, go ahead and yawn.

According to research on the so-called 10-year rule, superstar achievers are distinguished by their:  Refusal to pay attention to something as cut and dried as a “10-year rule.”

horse feeds pigeons:  But feeds them to whom?

elevated perspective meaning:  You’re looking down your nose at the rest of us.

Assume every semester after finals you fly back to your hometown using a​ $300 ticket you buy online:  In a year’s time, you’ll have spent three and a half hours being groped by the TSA.

zooeybot:  How can I get on the waiting list?

“the webmaster” or thewebmaster or “thewebmaster.com”:  I should probably block this guy’s IP before he spams me.

anything but sue:  Consider this before contacting a lawyer.

ironing naked:  Well, you certainly wouldn’t want to iron something while you’re wearing it.

hoda kotb upskirt:  Never seen that. Have you checked with Kathie Lee?

eset keeps blocking url:  They’re probably doing you a favor.

2010 mefi comments, all users:  You’ll get through À la recherche du temps perdu faster than that.

life insurance without medical exam:  You probably should have thought of that long before turning sixty.

bill oreilly keep his scolds perch:  He probably should have thought of that long before turning horndog.

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A front-nine breakfast

I’m not sure I want to know how this might have happened:

You have an early-morning golf match. You make coffee and contemplate the optimal breakfast to help you hit the ball straighter and calm those first-tee jitters.

For now, skip frozen hash browns sold in nine states under the Harris Teeter and Roundy’s brands. The potatoes may contain pieces of golf balls, according to the hash brown maker.

Says the recall notice from McCain Foods:

McCain Foods USA, Inc. announced today it is voluntarily recalling retail, frozen hash brown products that may be contaminated with extraneous golf ball materials, that despite our stringent supply standards may have been inadvertently harvested with potatoes used to make this product. Consumption of these products may pose a choking hazard or other physical injury to the mouth.

The impacted products include the following: Roundy’s Brand, 2 lb. Bag of Frozen Southern Style Hash Browns (UPC 001115055019) and Harris Teeter Brand, 2 lb. Bag of Frozen Southern Style Hash Browns (UPC 007203649020).

The Roundy’s products were distributed at Marianos, Metro Market, and Pick ‘n Save supermarkets in the states of Illinois and Wisconsin. The Harris Teeter products were distributed in the states of North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, District of Columbia, Delaware, Florida, Georgia and Maryland. Distribution occurred after the date of January 19, 2017.

Which explains the production code: B170119.

As usual with food recalls, you can turn them in at the store where you got them, or you can just pitch them out. I suggest a 5-iron.

(Via Kim Severson.)

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We have all been here before

For the fourth game in a row, the Houston Rockets came up strong in the fourth quarter no matter what they say about Russell Westbrook’s clutchiness; down 77-73 after three quarters, the Rockets were up five in the last minute. Steven Adams pulled a nifty stunt, missing a second free throw which Westbrook turned into a three-pointer. The Rockets responded with a barrage of free throws, and it ended with Westbrook near the circle and Patrick Beverley apparently giving him the stink-eye. Houston 113, Oklahoma City 109, and the scent of elimination is in the air.

Then again, the miraculous aspect of all this was that Adams made the first free throw; he was 2-5 from the stripe. Still, this was better than Andre Roberson, upon whom Mike d’Antoni chose to inflict The Hack. Dre hit two of eight, which was bad enough, but he’d already missed four. Ultimately, the Thunder managed to connect on only 18 of 32 from the stripe, a dismal 56 percent. Westbrook contributed only one miss, hitting 12 of 13, and had already collected a triple double by halftime, ending with 35-14-14. Still, he shot only 10-28.

This did not quite offset overall poorer Houston shooting (44 percent versus 49), and an indifferent showing by James Harden (5-16, 0 of 7 treys, 16 points). But the Rockets’ three-man bench was more than enough to compensate; Eric Gordon and Lou Williams each contributed 18 points to the cause, and Nené went 12-12 (!) for 28 points. (The entire Thunder bench scored only 22.) And the Rockets outrebounded the Thunder, 45-40, never a good sign.

So it’s back to Houston for Game Five on Tuesday, with the Rockets up 3-1. It’s not impossible for the Thunder to win three straight and move to the second round, but I’m not holding my breath either.

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Not Palm Beach

This was tucked into the back of the Real Estate section of Saturday’s Oklahoman:

2309 Marjorie Lane 73099

Obviously, this house is not on the Florida coast: it’s in Oklahoma City, far enough west to have a Yukon (73099) ZIP code. I had no idea this addition even existed.

Plat of Mar A Lago addition, Oklahoma City

And apparently it hasn’t for too awfully long. (Plat thanks to Jason Powers Homes, which built this house.)

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That’ll teach you

As well it should:

This picture would seem to date to last fall: I found a copy at theCHIVE. How the asshat was able to get out of those two parking spaces, I have no idea.

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Clearly not denim

Fifty-five pounds (sterling) will get you these MOTO jeans from Topshop and probably a few instances of the old side-eye:

Plastic jeans from Topshop

The explanation:

Think outside the box with these out-of-the-ordinary clear plastic jeans — guaranteed to get people talking. In a straight leg cut, they feature classic pockets detailing and are cropped at the ankle bone. Ideal as a statement piece for a festival or costume party, take the look to the extreme with a bikini and sequin jacket or dress down, layered under an oversized jumper or asymmetric hem dress.

Oh, yes: it’s machine-washable.

(Via Emily Zanotti, who cites this item as evidence that Topshop is just trolling us.)

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A disappointment I had expected

Still, it flattened me more than I thought it would: today was the annual Architecture Tour, and it was the first one I’ve missed since 2006. It wasn’t that the price had gone up or anything; it’s just that I can’t manage more than about a dozen steps before going woozy, and besides that, getting in and out of the car seven times is a horror in its own right.

I suspect that I’m also going to have to shelve any lingering ideas I might have had for World Tour ’17, presumably some time in the fall when I would have earned some vacation time, having burned up all my 2017 summer days last summer in so-called Recovery Mode. As slowly as this recovery is going, I may never leave town again.

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It’s a great magnetic field

No, there’s no reason why you can’t hang a fuzz pedal off an electric harp. Why do you ask?

Oh.

They were billing themselves as “2 Girls 1 Harp,” and — no, I’m not going there. Besides, there are clearly three harps being played here.

I note for reference that besides Black Sabbath, they can do white satin.

(Via Miss Cellania.)

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Keeping it Friel

It’s Courtney Friel’s thirty-seventh birthday, and I suspect rather a lot of folks think she’s still stirring somewhere in the mighty Fox News machine. Um, no. For the moment, she’s the weekend anchor on KTLA, the Los Angeles affiliate of The CW. Then again, as a former Fox person, it is likely that she possesses certain, um, decorative qualities, and no one is likely to mention her BA in Political Science from San Diego State.

Courtney Friel, probably not on YouTube

Courtney Friel all almost-dressed up

Courtney Friel in the director's chair

I suspect this picture was not taken in Los Angeles:

Courtney Friel in the winter

She’s originally from Philadelphia. Do women from there typically wear flip-flops in the snow?

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Tru enough

Just across town:

Hilton spent about $4 million on this 86-room facility, five miles north of Will Rogers World Airport at 802 S. Meridian. The target market, apparently, is the Millennial on a budget — and aren’t all Millennials on a budget?

Picture a Quality Inn or a Comfort Inn with a makeover along the lines of an Ace hotel, without the hipster restaurants, and you may have Tru by Hilton, which features bright colors, a lobby designed with areas for eating, playing games, working and lounging and efficiently designed guest rooms.

“The rooms got smaller and the lobby got bigger,” said Phil Cordell, global head of Hilton Worldwide’s focused service brands, highlighting the social aspects of the new concept.

About those rooms:

The goal was to create rooms of 228 square feet with “clever” bathrooms. The brand uses platform beds instead of box springs and uses a landing zone where guests can place their luggage and hang their clothes rather than a dresser. Hilton realized that they could shrink the width of the room from the typical 12 feet to 10 feet because typically the TV cabinet would take up 2 feet, but with flat screen TV’s the space could be spared. The desk … to be used is a portable chair attached to a table allowing the guest to use the chair wherever they want in the room.

The Tru by Hilton in McDonough, Georgia was the first to break ground, but the Oklahoma City location is the first to open. And on Day One, yes, there was a food truck out front:

Right on target.

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Quote of the week

Fox News, says the Z Man, could have ridden out the Bill O’Reilly kerfuffle, but why would they bother?

It’s tempting to assume that Fox is stuffed to the rafters with right-wing ideologues, but that’s not the case. Fox is just as Prog infested as every other media company. This could very well be part of an effort to make the channel more Prog friendly. It could also be the dream-child of someone in management, to remake the network to appeal to younger, gayer viewers.

But even if it isn’t, what difference does it make?

CNN has the same economics as Fox News. They can fully engage in whatever politics they choose, because they get paid even if no one bothers watching. They are tax farmers, relying on an oligopoly to enforce their right to skim a buck a month from your cable bill. It’s why cable bills are over $100 per month and it is also why cord cutting is the new thing. If people could pick the channels they buy through their cable subscription, all of the cable news guys would go away.

Besides, Fox News is still affected by Robert Conquest’s second law: “Any organization not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.” An example from the past:

[A] good lesson to recall in all of this is the story of Time Magazine. Henry Luce founded the magazine, as well as Life, Sports Illustrated and other famous publications. He was also involved in radio, newsreels and eventually television. His company was the first multimedia corporation. In his heyday, he was considered the most influential private citizen in the country. The reason for that is his publications reached almost every American. He was an arbiter of the news.

Luce was also rabidly anti-communist and regularly used his media outlets to do battle with the Progs of his day. He opposed most of what FDR tried to do in office. It was Luce who came to the rescue of Whittaker Chambers, when the the Progs had him at the top of their enemies list. Chambers worked for Luce, not only earning a paycheck, but writing for his publications. Luce helped Bill Buckley get started, thus helping the post-war conservative movement come to life. Henry Luce’s media empire was anti-Left.

It was not, however, explicitly right-wing. After Luce died, his media company was slowly infiltrated by lunatics. By the 60’s it was unrecognizable. By the 70’s it was fully refashioned into a weapon of the Left. Even though its over the top Progressive bias slowly killed its circulation, the people running it did not care. What mattered was promoting the one true faith, even if it destroyed the institution from which it was broadcast.

Gramsci! thou shouldst be living at this hour.

Oh, wait, thou art.

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Maximum narrowness

Game Three, unlike the first two, took place in the hallowed hollow that is Chesapeake Arena. Some things happened that were better: Russell Westbrook turned in his triple-double without monopolizing all the shots, the Thunder actually hit three-pointers on a regular basis (nine of 19), and OKC proved more adept at serving up assists (24-10). But some things were distressingly familiar: failure to close quarters strongly, long periods where the Rockets seemed to do all the scoring, and entirely too many fouls against James Harden, especially when the Beard is putting up a trey. An example of the latter, inside the two-minute mark, left the score at 110-108. It was tied at 111 when Harden didn’t exactly travel. Well, he did, but he slid across the floor, and he quickly called a timeout. With 9.5 left, Westbrook was going for a slam, but Patrick Beverley got in his way. It was Beverley’s sixth foul, so that was sort of gratifying, but Westbrook dropped one of the two freebies. With 8.8 left, Westbrook fouled Harden to make sure he couldn’t hit a trey. Harden duly sank two free throws — he made all 18 he tried — and it was 114-113 Thunder. Half a second later, Westbrook drew another foul and somehow nailed only one of the charities. The last Rocket volley missed, and the final was OKC 115, Houston 113. Suddenly it’s a 2-1 series, and Game Four looms on Sunday afternoon.

The Thunder couldn’t do much about Harden, who racked up 44 points seemingly without effort, although the Beard ended up with seven turnovers versus six assists. They did, however, make life miserable for Beverley, which might have been more emotionally satisfying: while the B did reel in seven rebounds, the only shot he made all night was a free throw. Still, they have no answer for Lou Williams. Westbrook was 32-13-11, though he did manage to miss three of his last six free throws. More delightful: more Taj Gibson, who rolled up 20 on 10-13 shooting.

Game Five will be Tuesday night in the 713. If nothing else, by then we’ll know if there’s a Game Six.

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This “Foolish” thing

I knew the drill: new songs drop on Friday at midnight, Eastern time. “Give or take,” I recalled, and therefore I showed up at the online store at 10:57 Thursday to push buttons rapidly. At 10:59:30 the magical word “Buy” appeared. Achievement unlocked.

In Time — gads, in Time!Rebecca Black explains her new single “Foolish”:

I was 18 when I wrote this, and I was just getting into a relationship. It was my first real boyfriend-girlfriend thing. I was really excited and terrified. There was this one point where I was just laying in bed with my boyfriend at the time, and we had been listening to a Coldplay record. It stopped, and all we heard was the buzzing from the record player. It was the most calm, sweet, intimate moment we had together, just listening to silence. I think it’s those moments that really make a relationship — at least for someone like me who’s just trying things out.

And the timing couldn’t be better, since (1) it came out on Friday, as do all new records now, and (2) in its tenth week on Billboard’s Dance Club chart, “The Great Divide” has slid down to #45.

The song itself? So far, all that’s out as a freebie is a clip via Spotify; there will be a video eventually. I liked it, but then I would.

Update, Saturday: A lyric video appears:

Carly Rae Jepsen could have sung this, I think.

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There’s no exception to the rule

That bony guy in the dark robe comes calling for us all:

Cuba Gooding Sr. was found dead in his car in Los Angeles, according to ABC. He was 72.

The soul singer was reportedly found slumped over inside his car in Woodland Hills, Calif. at 12:58 p.m. on Thursday, but he could not be resuscitated by CPR. A spokesperson with the Los Angeles Fire Department would not confirm Gooding Sr’s identity, but confirmed to Variety that they responded to a call on Ventura Blvd. and determined the death of an adult male at that same time.

Gooding had four children, of whom the best known was Cuba Jr., who won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in Jerry Maguire (1996), playing a wide receiver for the Arizona Cardinals. (“Show me the money!”) But you remember Cuba Sr. for this:

It jolts me a little, then a lot, to remember that “Everybody Plays the Fool” is forty-five years old.

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