The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

11 September 2002

Gumming attraction

It's called Trident White, and I never would have bought it had it not been fastened to a bottle of Listerine (another Warner-Lambert product, and how come AOL hasn't bought them yet?); I've never been much of a gum-chewer, perhaps due to an inability to snap it with authority. It's low on the calorie scale — 2.5 per piece — and contains some odd dairy derivative yet is lactose-free. And best of all, it's supposed to whiten, or at the very least maybe de-yellow, one's teeth.

All this is secondary, though, to actual chewing satisfaction, and here the stuff comes up short. This particular flavor (billed as "peppermint", but it tastes like discount-store mouthwash) is something less than enthralling, the pieces are tiny (perhaps to ensure that 2.5 calories per), and I have certain qualms about anything this small that lists a dozen and a half ingredients. And titanium dioxide? Well, that certainly explains the "white" part.

I have no doubt that it will sell, and sell well, but I don't think it's persuasive enough to win over Doctor No. 5.

Posted at 8:13 PM to Dyssynergy

I love this stuff! The "next gen" of gum is far superior to the Doublemint & Juicy-Fruit types...the packaging alone entices me!

Posted by: DavidMSC at 7:00 AM on 12 September 2002

Yeah, but how can you make a chain of wrappers with it?

Posted by: CGHill at 11:50 AM on 12 September 2002