19 September 2002
Ordure of the day
10:15 am: "Slow drain" reported to management.
5:15 pm: First acknowledgment of report. Minion inspects tub, finds a small quantity of damp detritus, flushes bowl, watches quantity of detritus increase twofold.
5:20 pm: Minion returns with quart bottle of Volcano Extract or something, spritzes a quarter of it down drain.
5:25 pm: "Didn't work. I'll call the plumber."
5:50 pm: Entire building is suffused with the gentle aroma of discarded jockstraps. I decide I will not cook tonight, and order pizza.
6:20 pm: Pizza is delivered.
7:00 pm: Tub now half-full of brown, brackish, bubbling brew.
7:50 pm: Level of said brew recedes to half an inch. I pour two gallons of boiling water into the cauldron.
8:00 pm: Nasty phone call to management.
8:04 pm: Management advises that plumbers are "on the way".
8:10 pm: Begin questioning neighbors. Upstairs residents report no problems; downstairs residents aren't home.
10:45 pm: Winds kick up to 60 mph; storm begins.
11:25 pm: Peak of the storm; winds exceeding 65 mph, rain falling at 0.05 inch per minute.
11:27 pm: Plumbers arrive.
12:05 am: Plumbers, having run both ends of line, report no blockage; suspect combination of Volcano Extract and boiling water may have loosened up the clog.
12:10 am: Off to bed at last.
5:15 am: But it doesn't last, does it?Posted at 7:00 AM to Dyssynergy