29 September 2002
The number of the two-backed beast
Jan Haugland's Secular Blasphemy teeters on the brink of Too Much Information:
"All men who haven't had sex in the last six months or worse have a sign on their foreheads to that effect. That sign is only visible to women, but they can all see it. And they'll avoid you like the plague.
"Thus the saying 'you have to slay the dragon to get the pretty maiden.'
"You see, you have to find a not-so-attractive girl who, despite seeing the sign on your forehead like any other woman does, are equally desperate, because she hasn't had anything for six months either.
"This will successfully remove the sign on your forehead, and you will be ready for the pretty maiden."
Frankly, I think I'd have better luck with a big, floppy, um, hat.