The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

2 October 2002

Chow down

How you or I might fix a TV dinner:

  1. Select TV dinner from freezer, remove from box.
  2. Set microwave oven to appropriate time.
  3. Wait.
  4. Remove TV dinner from microwave oven; bon appetit.

How 42nd and Treadmill fixes a TV dinner:

  1. Select as many TV dinners from freezer as possible, arrange on tabletop.
  2. Invert containers to make cooking instructions visible.
  3. Add up the number of minutes specified for each dinner; call this number X.
  4. Place as many dinners in the microwave oven as possible and set the timer for X/2 minutes.
  5. Remove dinners and inspect.
  6. Announce that there will be mandatory overtime until the dinners are properly cooked.
  7. Place as many dinners in the microwave oven as possible and set the timer for X/2 minutes.
  8. Remove dinners and inspect.
  9. Call a staff meeting to discuss the condition of the dinners.
  10. Take any still-frozen dinners to a conventional oven and heat.
  11. Circulate memo regarding microwave management.
  12. Point out to malcontents that everything is being done exactly as it should be.


Posted at 8:00 AM to Worth a Fork


I can't help but notice that there was no consumption of any TV dinners in the 42nd & Treadmill "Guide To TV Dinners." I guess the staff just gives up, eventually, and heads on out to grab a Big Mac.

Posted by: DavidMSC at 9:15 PM on 2 October 2002

Some things are indeed conspicuous by their absence.

Posted by: CGHill at 6:50 AM on 3 October 2002