The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

30 October 2002

The final farce in Minnesota

It should have been obvious that something was going to be terribly wrong with the funeral for Senator Wellstone when Dick Cheney — the Vice-President of the United States, fercrissake! — was disinvited. And when it was all over, Stephen Green said exactly what needed to be said:

Paul and Sheila's sons allowed — perhaps even encouraged — their father's funeral to become a testament, not to a good man's life, but to everything that is wrong and slimy and sleazy and uncivilized about modern politics.

Damn them both. Damn those Democrats partaking in it. Damn those Republicans too cowardly to call them all on it. And may we all be damned, for our politicians are merely reflections of our own ugly tastes, boorish manners, and tolerance for those same traits in others.

Civilization demands civility. Rome didn't fall to barbarians; Rome fell because it took the barbarians in.

If there is any justice in this world, the GOP will pick up this seat in the Senate. And if there is any kindness, Norm Coleman will smile and politely refuse to talk about this incident ever again.

Posted at 8:00 AM to Political Science Fiction


Some bizarro footnotes to this election. Robert Toricelli bows out of the New Jersey election at the last minute because he was no longer considered a viable candidate. Last minute plane crashes (nothing suspicious about that, eh?), and the result is a quick dig thru the archives to come up with a "Big Name" candidate.

A minor change in election law may help:

- Once selected as the candidate, you WILL run, whether you want to or not, dead or alive. Under no circumstances will a candidate be replaced outside of the "open season". No substitutions please. Suspicious circumstances resulting in a candidate's death will not be considered an exception.

Let the carnage begin ...

Posted by: NostraDimwit at 3:14 PM on 30 October 2002

This might actually work, at least in Oklahoma, where we had a dead woman on the Senate ballot in 1998. (See Vent #115 for the gory details.)

Posted by: CGHill at 7:32 PM on 30 October 2002