The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

31 January 2003

Second season on The WB

Some rejected TV series, courtesy of Mimi Smartypants:

Vasectomy 2003: Medical shows are always very popular with certain demographics. An hour of guys in sweatpants putting icepacks to their groins is going to be great.

Saved By The Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells: Wacky hijinks ensue when Edgar Allan Poe is resurrected, transported forward to our time, and enrolled in a Baltimore public high school. (Or maybe we should set in the 1980s. Can't you just see E. A. Poe wearing a shirt that says RELAX or CHOOSE LIFE?)

My So-Called Dentist: He is not a real dentist, but don't tell our contestants!

Tiny Henry Rollins In A Jar: Sitcom. Henry Rollins is shrunk to the size of a cricket and put in a jar by an adorable six-year-old girl with pigtails. She gives him a stick to climb on and another stick to bench press and she loves him very much. Every episode ends with a self-glorifying spoken word piece and a Macintosh product placement.

And, of course, So Much More.

Posted at 1:29 PM to Almost Yogurt


What about my idea for "Survivor: Iraq"?

The vasectomy show premise makes me...uh..."shrink away" in fear. Come to think of it, so does the dentist show.

Posted by: DavidMSC at 3:04 AM on 1 February 2003

My favorite line by Gallagher:

What TV needs is a knob to turn up the intelligence.

I tried the one labelled 'brightness' but it didn't work.

Posted by: Kevin McGehee at 5:59 AM on 1 February 2003