The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

5 February 2003

And bullet holes may affect respiration

In a regulatory filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Microsoft made the following startling declaration:

To the extent the open-source model gains increasing market acceptance, sales of the company's products may decline, the company may have to reduce the prices it charges for its products, and revenues and operating margins may consequently decline.

In a footnote, Microsoft chairman Bill Gates noted that rainfall is sporadic at best in the Mojave Desert, and that children under six should not drink bleach.

Posted at 7:57 AM to Common Cents , PEBKAC