"I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less."
14 May 2003Singular, but no sensationAfter the dispiriting experience described in "No experience required", I was ready for some good news, and needless to say, I didn't get it. There exists something called the Soulmate Calculator, which will "calculate the number of American singles you must meet to find your soulmate." This being a Microsoft Active Server Page, I figured it probably would fail on dividing by transfinites, but I went ahead and plugged in some data anyway. Since I have a marked tendency to fall for women who are geographically unacceptable, I chose to limit the pickings to this general area; otherwise, I tried to be as unpicky as I could without making a mockery of it all, specifying a height range of four foot nine to six foot one (this would eliminate the lovely and talented Jane Galt, but she doesn't live around here anyway), ages 33 to 55, no preference on ethnicity or relationship status, and indicating a preference for some form of Christianity, on the dubious basis that leaving it blank would not expand the local field substantially. There are fourteen characteristics which may be specified in percentile terms; on only three (emotional intelligence, compassion and humor) did I request higher than the median. And after the server digested all this, it tossed out the following statistics:
Gee, thanks. Fortunately, I'm quite accustomed to desperation, or I might be tempted by something like this. TrackBack: 8:36 PM, 14 May 2003 » Destined to be single from Ravenwood's Universe Charles Hill recently used this Soulmate Calculator to figure his odds of meeting that perfect soulmate. It told him that...[read more] TrackBack: 11:25 PM, 14 May 2003 » 73,374,971!!!? from Caerdroia Bigwig at Silflay Hraka links to a "soulmate calculator". Apparently, I would have to meet 73,374,971 heterosexual women (and Dustbury thinks he's in bad shape!) between 22 and 40 years old to find a soulmate. Apparently, intelligent women with a good ......[read more] I could introduce you to some military women in Cheyenne. Sadly, most are single or divorced mothers. But otherwise seem to be within the specs you post. Good luck Posted by: Fuz at 7:34 PM on 14 May 2003Thank you for ruining my night. Your probability coefficient: 8.14158485456398E-06. You have to meet 122,826 heterosexual females Posted by: Ravenwood at 8:22 PM on 14 May 2003Sez the married guy. "Me thinks you and the raven are too picky" :) Posted by: bigwig at 9:53 PM on 14 May 2003Well, I need to meet 4,268 heterosexual females between 18 and 32 apparently. Was kind of bummed, until I saw Ravenwood's number. Posted by: Brian at 10:42 PM on 14 May 2003I'm never letting my wife leave the house ever again. BTW, there's a guy here in Oklahoma City who runs a Russian mail order bride business. He might be of some help. Posted by: Cam at 10:58 PM on 14 May 2003I have to meet 2,220 heterosexual males. The problem is, I've already met them. Posted by: Diane L. at 11:07 PM on 14 May 2003I'd better clarify that. We only had coffee. Posted by: Diane L. at 11:48 PM on 14 May 2003I notice the quiz doesn't seem to say anything about what needs to happen when you do meet your soulmate. I mean, is he/she contractually obligated to consider you his/her soulmate in return? Posted by: McGehee at 10:13 AM on 15 May 2003That would simplify matters too much, and would probably eliminate somewhere around forty percent of mass-market fiction in the process. And this is a bad thing? Posted by: McGehee at 4:32 PM on 15 May 2003As Mr Jagger used to observe, "You can't always get what you want." Of course, he usually got what he needed, or thought he needed. Yah, but he stood a much better chance of being able to -afford- his needs than most of the rest of us. Posted by: Steve at 9:17 PM on 15 May 2003What a drag it is getting old, huh? Posted by: CGHill at 6:53 PM on 16 May 2003Unfortunately, yes. |