The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

3 July 2003

The formula for Formula 1

David E. Davis, Jr., founder and something-or-other-emeritus of Automobile magazine, points out in the August '03 issue (not yet online as of this writing) that Formula 1 auto racing has become (horrors!) dull and boring:

The current formula should be junked. It has led to cars that cannot pass each other on the venues chosen for their races, and races that are no longer decided by courage, daring, and mastery of the machine but by pit stop and tire strategies.

And even if F1 Looming Presence Bernie Ecclestone could be persuaded to make these changes, Formula 1 would still be a flop in the States, predicts Davis:

Formula 1 prospers only in countries with socialist governments and a history of soccer riots. The greedy economics of Formula 1 make it a lose-lose proposition for any organization other than a big-spending welfare state.

Our hooligans, of course, prefer NASCAR. And my personal racing fantasies run to time/distance rallying in cars vaguely resembling stock, sort of what you'd have if you turned NASCARmobiles loose on, say, Arkansas 7, though I'd insist on having my incredibly-gorgeous co-pilot (leadfoot up to perfect mid-thigh) at my side, of course, which pretty much eliminates sneaking a car out of Darlington in the dead of night.

Posted at 7:19 PM to Driver's Seat

Did you NOT just describe the plot to Smokey and the Bandit?

I'm with you, regardless. It's why I'm saving my pennies for Gumball 20-something.

Posted by: Scott Chaffin at 9:11 PM on 3 July 2003

Smokey and the Bandit had a plot?

Posted by: CGHill at 9:12 PM on 3 July 2003

One day while channel surfing I came upon a NASCAR race on a track that looked little bigger than one of those toy Hot Wheels tracks. I couldn't imagine how the drivers failed to get dizzy.

Of course, I didn't stay long enough to see any of them get out of the cars. Maybe they all staggered and fell down, as I would have done.

I don't remember what the race was called. Maybe the "Stone Cold Sober DUI 500."

Posted by: McGehee at 10:22 AM on 4 July 2003

I can get dizzy in a Wal-Mart parking lot, although this is due more to trying to avoid the detritus scattered about (abandoned carts, abandoned cars, whatever) than trying to gain any actual speed.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:15 PM on 4 July 2003