The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

2 August 2003

A thesaurus of spam

My POP3 mail client (yes, the dreaded Outlook Express) is set to render all HTML mail as plain text, mainly because, well, I hate HTML mail; if you've got something to say to me, you don't need to tart it up with background graphics and font combinations worthy of a ransom note. What's more, those cute little Web bugs that often come with it, externally-loaded graphics that, by mere dint of having been loaded, verify one's email address for the sake of spammers, get swatted at the very lowest level.

Sometimes, once the formatting is swept away, what's left is almost amusing. The following blank verse is the plain text that remained from an HTML-based spam sent to this address from, a verified spam source:

maturing explodes tenfold ex pong tending accumulator temporal tardy ideologically polopony mill hopscotch bart bechtel evermore sardine sands poem sciences tactics accruing sanest temperamental tempters crawls acquits bp bessemer courteously $RANDOMIZE sculptures aaron bounced hydraulic tempera expenditures abe medals mileage secede bluegrass creedal excitingly tautness tangential aerobacter memory algerian covenants admitting exclude matriarch hourglass exciting crested thatches pose teetotal housebreak exits $RANDOMIZE evenly bessemer courageous alfred hyperboloidal algiers adrenal babylonian horribleness hothouse megohm scribbles telephoning poignant hubbub bores ben tended breadboard plume plop

talents counter adjective immediate corrode boarder mechanize please cortical accusatory portage eukaryote maverick bombard scarce evince scraggly bluet polishing adsorbed bernadine tautological tact talkativeness bondholder mattock creases expounded evicting pouted $RANDOMIZE tastelessly tantalizingly boomerang creekside playgrounds exclaims migrates exercisers ainu tearful blur evidences pleasures practiced berwick plunderer boors evocation housing pol imaginings couches seaside bart achromatic mazes plumbed adjured savvy breakfasted $RANDOMIZE bluff creativeness terminally blurred hourly booty theatricals arab bottomed temporal tat illinois possibilities screams county scribbles boilerplate meadowsweet technologies imitates metaphysical

In the HTML version, you'd see none of these words; they appear in white on a white background, and what you get on top of them is a referral to, a distributor of a Viagra knockoff, whose domain registration traces back to China.

And really, if those hourly booty theatricals were truly arab bottomed, it's no wonder they were terminally blurred.

Posted at 8:21 AM to Scams and Spams

ah, but it does make sense that "illinois possibilities screams county scribbles boilerplate." I've noticed that illinois possibilities screams all kinds of scribbles boilerplate, and county scribbles boilerplate certainly qualifies.

Posted by: McGehee at 9:23 AM on 2 August 2003

Ah, the fun of using text-only e-mail. Mine's set the same way; though I use Pegasus rather than Outlook.

Posted by: Kathy K at 1:49 PM on 2 August 2003

It occurs to me that a succession of these might really play hell with Google; I mean, with a quarter-million words on this site already, it's not so easy to construct a search that won't hit something here, and this collection of whatever-it-is will further complicate the task.

I'd say more, but poignant hubbub bores Ben, and anyway, if I really needed to do any Googlebombing, I'd have to say something about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen with their clothes off.

Posted by: CGHill at 5:09 PM on 2 August 2003

LOL! Thanks, Chaz!

Posted by: McGehee at 10:42 AM on 3 August 2003