The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

15 August 2003

8 or 10 simple rules

Rachael at Mookie Riffic has issued the Idiot's Guide to Teenage Dating. Not having dated any teenagers since I was, um, fifteen, and inasmuch as my children are well into their twenties and more or less permanently attached, I don't quite know why I noticed this, but what the heck. Here's the very first rule:

If you like someone, tell them yourself. Don't have Tina tell Gabrielle to tell Carmen to tell her boyfriend George that Sheila likes Dave.

Apart from the minor pronoun issue, this seems to be eminently sensible. There are nine more, seven if you count 8 through 10 as a single item, which you probably could.

Posted at 11:11 AM to Table for One


I dunno, Charles. The indirect route makes it possible for two people to approach one another on less charged terms. It also makes it possible for the object of one's affections, if they are not returned, to pretend he didn't hear the message. This helps to spare the feelings of the more attracted one, if it's not going to work out.

I spent a lot of years, uh, "between loves." As a single man in his thirties with essentially no social contacts (don't ask), the methods available to me for seeking a new partner were all distressingly direct. Direct approaches engender direct rejections. Several times they nearly persuaded me to finish out this life celibate.

Mrs. Curmudgeon was a supremely happy accident. I was looking for a ping-pong table and found a wife instead (don't ask). Had she not arrived, I think I would have tossed the whole mating dance into the dumpster. And I think it likely that a lot of other, not-entirely-confident young people are as put off by direct, unadorned mechanisms like dating services, mixers, and the bar scene as I was, for the same reasons.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 12:48 PM on 15 August 2003

Assuming as I do that rejection is both certain and inevitable, I have generally reasoned that I may as well get it over with and save myself both time and heartache. This works about as well as you'd expect, but it appeals to my practical side. Not that a practical side is of any benefit in matters of the heart, mind you.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:41 PM on 15 August 2003