The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

1 September 2003

Nothing to see here, move along

For some reason, this weekend has brought an inordinately high number of dubious search requests, and while most of them aren't funny enough to submit to Disturbing Search Requests, they're still a few degrees off plumb, and far be it from me to refrain from mocking them.

The one that perplexed me most was olsen twins nude free pictures, for three reasons: (1) to my knowledge, there aren't any nude pictures of the Olsen twins, not even at blogoSFERICS; (2) if there were, it's highly unlikely this guy (it's gotta be a guy) would be able to get them for free, what with the legal angles and all; (3) I was the 187th hit for this string, which meant that he went through a hell of a lot of them. The vast majority of the higher placings, of course, went to porn sites, which will tell you they have any damn thing imaginable — Lithuanian choir girls, Thai farm animals, Dr. Laura's discarded sandals — if they can get you to click in just once. I honestly don't know how McGehee puts up with this.

Then there was pictures of guys with Peyronie's disease, which strikes me as seriously, um, twisted. Bent, even.

(Which reminds me: Danish pianist Bent Fabricius-Bjerre, his name mercifully truncated to "Bent Fabric", won a Grammy in 1962 for his not-exactly-rollicking piano recording of "Alley Cat"; it's about time we were favored with a decent Greatest Hits compilation for the fellow. They could call it Get Bent.)

Finally, there is hillary clinton thighs, presumably a weighty subject, but not one I wish to discuss around lunchtime, if you know what I mean.

Posted at 12:34 PM to Blogorrhea


Don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player.

Posted by: McGehee at 1:06 PM on 1 September 2003

I take absolute delight that for some reason I come up #1 on a Google Search for filthy lingerie and am surprised at how many hits I get from searches on that word combination.

Now, the most arcane thing is that I get more hits from Michael Jackson bankrupt on a post I did over three months ago that has an ongoing comment discussion. My post merely stated that the story about Michael Jackson being bankrupt failed on the figures cited because the assets listed exceeded the liabilities, and, hence, established no grounds for bankruptcy. For some reason, my post is the biggest forum for discussion by pro-MJ and anti-MJ trolls.

Posted by: Tiger at 1:21 PM on 1 September 2003

I was, some few months ago and thanks to the particular Google algorithms, the leading resource on Inul Daratista. But of course, this post will ensure more traffic to your site on those bent ideas. Mary Kate and Ashley, anyone?

Posted by: Camilo at 10:45 PM on 1 September 2003

This entire site contains somewhere in the vicinity of a quarter-million words; it would take a bit of planning to construct a search string that didn't hit anything here.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:02 AM on 2 September 2003

"Hillary Clinton thighs"

Wasn't that a Kim Carnes song?

...she's got Hil'ry Clinton thighs...

Posted by: timekeeper at 7:29 AM on 3 September 2003