The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

27 September 2003

Safety first

The late-night guy at the oldies station was spinning out a spiel, and suddenly he came up with something like this:

The music that's fun for you, and safe for your kids.

It was after midnight and I was somewhere on the cusp of drowsiness, but this bugged me for some reason. Admittedly, their playlist doesn't include any of the pimp material that rules elsewhere on the dial — and even that crap is somewhat sanitized before being allowed on the air — but "safe"? Has anyone listened to "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" lately? "So tell me now, and I won't ask again"? This is seriously adult stuff, even if it was being pitched to teenagers forty-two years ago.

But it's a slogan, and one does not get a good night's sleep worrying about radio station slogans, so I shrugged it off (and if you've never seen a horizontal shrug, you haven't missed much) and let it go.

Until this afternoon, when I'm snarled in traffic north of the ever-scary Northwest Distressway, and Diana Ross comes crooning out of the speakers:

No I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
These precious words keep me hangin' on
I remember mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

And of course, I've started singing along, and I'm weeping profusely before she ever gets to "precious words". God knows what the people in the next lane thought.

"Safe for your kids"? This stuff isn't even safe for me.

Posted at 6:23 PM to Table for One , Tongue and Groove


TrackBack: 1:26 AM, 29 September 2003
» The Cul-de-Sac for Monday, September 29 from suburban blight
Welcome to this week's edition of the Cul-de-Sac, my weekly quest to find out just exactly what bloggers in my neigborhood have on their minds. This week brought the addition of two new items: first, I made a little Cul-de-Sac......[read more]

See, that's what you get for listening to "other radio". I guarantee I won't make you cry on your way to work. :)

Posted by: Cam at 7:48 PM on 27 September 2003

On the way to work, I cry because I'm on the way to work, which is bad enough.

Posted by: CGHill at 7:55 PM on 27 September 2003

You sentimental old softy, you...my Oklahoma soul brother.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 6:50 AM on 28 September 2003

Dusty Springfield's "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" comes to mind. It's so desperate, and sad, and sort of psycho...

Posted by: aldahlia at 8:30 AM on 30 September 2003

The plaint of the Love Junkie. The Four Tops' "Bernadette" works similar turf.

Are we truly powerless in the face of passion? Sometimes I think we are, which may be why I've gone to such prodigious lengths to avoid it.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:12 AM on 30 September 2003

I just cannot wait for thirty years hence, when old favorites like NWA become safe for my children too.

Posted by: CT at 10:27 PM on 1 October 2003