The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

9 January 2004

Let us all now veg out

Baldilocks reads the terms of the Official Salads Act:

Anyone who uses iceberg lettuce in a salad should be shot.

Croutons and bacon bits are masks for a salad prepared by a lazy salad-maker. If your ingredients are good, fresh and varied, you don't need that caca.

No yellow, orange or white dressings should be used. Hey, if you want to hide the taste of your salad, just tear up some iceberg, chop up a big, fat tomato and pour Thousand Island all over it. Blech.

Thousand Island has always struck me as overwrought, though it's difficult to find variations in the range of, say, 350 to 600 Island.

Other than that, I think I'd be fortunate to score higher than a D-plus on this admittedly strict set of requirements. And that's a shame, because:

If you think salads are boring, you're missing out on one of the great pleasures of eating. Time, attention and varied ingredients are all that are required. Donít forget to make it beautiful as well. Eating is almost as much about the eye as it is about the tongue.

Mental note: This is probably not the ideal day to hit the drive-thru at Whataburger.

Posted at 9:23 AM to Worth a Fork


This is obviously biased towards "Toss" salad, as croutons are a very common (and necessary) ingredient in any and all Ceasar salads.

Posted by: dowingba at 10:19 AM on 9 January 2004

Well, at least it's "should" and not "shall." But one never knows when Juliette might convert this from a wish-list item into a firm requirement. Keep plenty of Romaine on hand, just in case.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 11:18 AM on 9 January 2004

Guess if she ever comes to my house she'll be bringing her own salad. Is it even possible to eat romaine lettuce with a fork? Or are you supposed to use tweezers?

Posted by: McGehee at 12:50 PM on 9 January 2004

:::cracking up::: (Well, some claim that this happened long ago.)

Posted by: Juliette at 1:08 PM on 9 January 2004

Heh, I'm a vegetarian and I work at Souper! Salad!. I know a thing or two about making salad.

Posted by: Aniwarp at 10:04 PM on 9 January 2004

"anal about salads" is an unfortunate choice of words.

Posted by: Bill Peschel at 6:07 PM on 11 January 2004