The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

17 January 2004

PL8S that GR8

From Miscellaneous, Etc., a Friday Five item engages the Rage Reflex:

If I had vanity plates on my car, they would read, "SUCKBAD", because I hate vanity plates so much that I think I might piss myself right now.

It's not that I hate the people who have vanity plates, it's just that I don't understand what they're thinking when they get them. Either they're so compressed that they make highschool yearbook entries seem lucid by comparison, or else they're so self-aggrandizing that you wish you could just ram them right there on the road.

Yes, you people with "RICHGUY" or "HOTCHIK" or "KIKASS" on your sports cars or luxury vehicles, I'm talking to you. From the make and model of your car, I was already able to figure out that you had a lot of money — and I didn't even have to put on my detective's eyes! Are you really so concerned that I might miss the fact that you're wealthy that you have to advertise it on your own license plate? Is it such an issue that you need to put it right out there in public? Are you so bereft of communication channels that this is all that's left to you?

Of course, here in Oklahoma, we're more interested in suing over license plates than in agonizing over them, but maybe it's because they cost so much here to begin with that we're disinclined to spend the extra $25 or so.

For the record, I briefly entertained the idea of a vanity plate — "DCXXVI", if you're curious — but decided I would likely get rear-ended by some fool on the Belle Isle Bridge trying to decipher the damned thing.

Posted at 1:58 PM to Dyssynergy


Posted by: wamprat at 7:49 PM on 17 January 2004

D - 500 +
C - 100 +
X - 10 +
X - 10 +
V - 5 +
I - 1
= 626, his Mazda.

Posted by: Steve at 8:02 PM on 17 January 2004

At first glance I thought it might be "666" but on further review...

I saw a snobby bitch get out of a red Mercedes 450 SL with the plates that said, "WAS HIS". If I'd been him I'd have totaled that fucking car before she got her hands on it. (pardon my French)

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip at 8:24 PM on 17 January 2004

OMG Gizzip LOLOL That was hysterical!

Posted by: Vickie at 8:28 PM on 17 January 2004

There are some good vanity plates out there. I have no idea what mine would be if I could afford one.

Posted by: :: jozjozjoz :: at 8:50 PM on 17 January 2004

On a Saab in Wisconsin: SNAAB

Posted by: Fred Boness at 12:04 AM on 18 January 2004

The way people drive around here, if I could get a 7-letter vanity tag it would read BACKOFF.

Posted by: McGehee at 8:16 AM on 18 January 2004

I once had a 1971 Pontiac Grandville convertible. It was like driving a swimming pool. Really. I often pulled into my driveway about 45 seconds before I got there.

Anyway, the plate I waited 4 years for and had to bribe a DMV person to get, by entering my request 1 hour early on the deadline day:

NCC 1701

It was the only one that fit.

Posted by: Midwestern Suburban Dad at 10:50 AM on 19 January 2004

"NCC 1701"

I like it! An appropriate name for your land yacht.

I hate seeing things like BMWs with BEEMER on the plates. Well no shit, sherlock.

Although I was excited to get my vanity plates partially because the plate itself is themed, and partly because of what I wanted to put on it (WWXD). Trying to decide if I want to try for it again when I have to register it in my new state of residence.

Posted by: Erica at 2:57 AM on 22 January 2004

"What Would Xena Do"?

Posted by: CGHill at 4:34 AM on 22 January 2004


Posted by: Erica at 2:43 PM on 22 January 2004