The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

21 January 2004

I never Metamucil I didn't like

What determines the exact point of entry into geezerhood?

I'm pretty sure I've gone through it at least once, or at least danced around the threshold, and I don't believe it had anything to do with consumption of antacids.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go yell at those damn kids in my yard.

Posted at 4:12 PM to General Disinterest


"Geezer" is the third in a set of four stages. It's preceded by "codger" and "duffer," and followed by "coot." I have the technical specs for all four stages somewhere, but, being a duffer myself, I'm currently unable to remember where I put my "specs," and so am having trouble finding anything.

More anon.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 4:20 PM on 21 January 2004

Francis, there's a stage missing from your progression, and it's the one I'm in -- and fully intend to be in until I can't do it no more.

It has as many letters as "coot" but rhymes with "upstart."

Posted by: McGehee at 4:37 PM on 21 January 2004

Charles, I laughed out loud at "those damn kids in my yard." (Thus, according to my rule, I may write "LOL," but I'll resist the temptation.)

Your blog is simply superb.

Posted by: Dan at 4:50 PM on 21 January 2004

How weird is it that I just came home, went to the medicine cabinet, looked for Metamucil for an ailing tummy, didn't find any, decided to get online for a few before I go to the store to buy the Metamucil....

This kind of thing has been happening to me far too much lately....case in point: I was talking to some teachers yesterday around 9:00 am about how sick I am of junk mail..except of course the kind where I get something out of it, like free address labels from Disabled Americans or something or other..I got home at 3:00 to get my mail, and, well....

But I digress.

Posted by: Vickie at 5:26 PM on 21 January 2004

Hey, I remember ancient and fossil are in there somewhere. I wouldn't worry about which it is though. As long as you are happy it don't matter what anyone calls you unless it is late to food.
The thing to watch out for is CRS and CRAFT. It looks like Francis is already suffering the effects of the first.

Posted by: anstranger at 12:34 AM on 22 January 2004

My Dad, who, at 75 is well ensconced into coot-hood, put it this way some 12-15 years ago,

"You know it's over when a good BM is better than a good BJ."

I'm not really completely healed yet.

Posted by: Marshall McLuhan at 5:27 PM on 22 January 2004