The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

13 February 2004

The drought has reached Nowata

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, apparently satisfied with having trashed the memory of Dr Robert Atkins, has gone back to its primary function: haranguing perfectly innocent towns into changing their names.

In years past, they've concentrated on New York towns: first Fishkill, then Hamburg. (How they managed to miss the Catskill Mountains is beyond me, especially since they went there to pester producers of foie gras.) Now they've turned their attention to Oklahoma, and the town of Slaughterville, south of Norman, which is of course named after grocer James Slaughter.

Other towns in Oklahoma which probably should fear for their identities:

Battiest: Insults persons with psychological disorders. (Actually, it's pronounced "bah-TEEST".)

Beaver: Offensive to women. (See Beaver College — oops, Arcadia University.)

Bowlegs: Mocks a physical disability bone condition.

Bushyhead: No comment.

Hooker: Likewise.

Kremlin: Obviously a leftover KGB plant.

Slapout: Promotes violence.

Warr Acres: Promotes lots of violence.

Yukon: Named after a sport-utility vehicle.

And God forbid anyone should spell Tulsa backwards.

(Muchas gracias: Cam Edwards.)

(Update, 18 February: Slaughterville says "Neigh", "Nay".)

Posted at 11:33 AM to Soonerland

You left off one another name that causes an offensive nauseau - Clinton.

Just too easy.

Posted by: UTurn at 1:00 PM on 13 February 2004

Isn't that a suburb within Tulsa?

Posted by: Ralph Gizzip at 8:22 PM on 13 February 2004

Having grown up in -kill country (Hudson Valley, New York), it's amazing/appalling how many people really are stupid enough to take names like Fishkill, Wallkill etc. transliterally.

Posted by: CT at 8:26 PM on 13 February 2004

I suspect that Kremlin -- in name or in reality -- wouldn't bother PETA too much.

Posted by: David at 4:07 PM on 14 February 2004