The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

1 May 2004

Oh, and Gulliver says hello

The Warrior Poet doesn't quite grasp what leads people to give names to their naughty bits. What does one get out of it?

Familiarity? Emotional distance? Division of responsibility? "Sorry, that's not me, that's Lucy and Ethel"? "Don't mind Fernando, he's a little frisky tonight"?

Perhaps it could be this:

If it's recognized, even laughingly, as a separate entity, I'm less tied to [A] its behavior and [B] other people's behaviors towards it.

The male of the species being routinely accused of being led around by the thing, I'm not surprised that there might be a tendency to dissociate oneself from it. On the other hand, or perhaps both hands, I seldom hear of women who are, um, overtly rack-directed.

Perhaps there's some significance to the name chosen, but if, for instance, William F. Buckley, Jr. should refer to the resident unit as "The Brobdingnagian Protuberance," well, I'd just as soon not know about it.

Posted at 9:04 AM to General Disinterest


This overlooks an important benefit of assigning names, nay, whole identities and personae to one's fun bits: Having done so allows a couple to pretend they're hosting an orgy, but without any of the complications, and with no need to serve refreshments.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 10:54 AM on 1 May 2004

I happen to know of a young lady who once had a sweatshirt bearing the name "Chattanooga," from which she -- temporarily, I gather -- named the portions of herself according to the portions of the name that lay across them: Chatta and Nooga.

I suppose by that principle I could have named mine B, V and D.

Posted by: McGehee at 12:35 PM on 1 May 2004

When I was a youngster, I had a part-time job sweeping up in the back kitchen area of a large restaurant where a bunch of old women worked. They gossiped and told dirty jokes all the time and, when I came around, they substituted the names of fruits and vegetables for the naughty bits. Oddly, they laughed even more than usual when they did it. I was pretty dumb until I asked one of the cooks what the women meant when they said a man had a large eggplant.

Posted by: Interested-Participant at 5:17 AM on 2 May 2004

Pet names for private parts were collected by Dr. Aman in an issue of Maledicta.

Many people have not had the pleasure of meeting
Dr. R. Aman, the genius behind Maledicta

I can't find the list online. The one that sticks in my mind is the fellow who called his penis "The South" [Will Rise Again].

Posted by: liz at 10:22 PM on 7 May 2004