The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

16 June 2004

Never meant to be

A commenter to this post asked me, more or less point-blank, why I wasn't dating Dawn Eden.

The obvious answer: she's 1498 miles away, give or take a wrong turn. "Hey, you wanna take in So-and-So at the Such-and-Such?" simply isn't feasible.

But there are deeper fissures between us than mere distance, and this one may be the deepest of all:

Today I found in the 3-for-$1 bin at Bleecker Bob's a 45 that looked, well, interesting. The songwriter was Ian Whitcomb of "You Turn Me On" fame, while the producer was Phil Ochs' old buddy Andy Wickham.

Unfortunately, once I got home, I discovered that not only is it dreadful, but it's actually on a compilation of The World's Worst Records (along with the far more listenable Mrs. Miller).

The record is "Hands," by one Debbie Dawn. If you would like to take it off my hands, I might — just might — be convinced to pay the postage, depending on the level of your enthusiasm.

Fain would I relieve fair maiden of her burden, but for the following:

(1) I actually have a copy of The World's Worst Records Vol. 2.

(2) What's more, the same horrid little tune shows up on The Force, one of the infamous Warner/Reprise Loss Leaders, which I also have.

A genuinely crummy and marginally offensive record, and I have two copies of it. Any chance of winning her heart has obviously gone straight into the toilet.

Posted at 7:59 PM to Table for One

Oh my, now I'll have to dig up my copy of "The Force" to hear that tune, no matter how horrid it is.

Posted by: Larry at 6:51 AM on 17 June 2004

So, Larry, did you give it a spin? What do you think?

Posted by: Dawn Eden at 10:36 AM on 17 June 2004

There is no bad music, there's only bad... No, wait. There *is* bad music. Nevermind.

Terkish Payne, and for your wasted time, here's your nickel back.

Posted by: Terkish Payne at 12:52 PM on 17 June 2004