The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

28 July 2004

Shaddup ya face

From The Braden Files, the USMC version of psychotherapy:

The Marine view of life, which if widely applied, would eradicate American politics in about three seconds, was simple: Solve your problems, live with them, or have the grace to shut up about them. Can you imagine what this would do to the talk-show racket? Fat housewife to Oprah: "My...I just can't...being so...heavy hurts my self-esteem." Oprah: "So stop sniveling and eat less. Next." The Corps believed in personal responsibility. If your life had turned into a landfill, it might be somebody else's fault. Maybe existence had dropped the green weenie on your plate. It happens. But the odds were that you had contributed to your own problems. Anyway, everybody gets a raw deal sometime. Life isn't a honeymoon in the Catskills. Deal with it. I remember a coffee mug in an armored company's day room: "To err is human, to forgive, divine. Neither of which is Marine Corps policy." There's something to be said for it.

Um, cancel my honeymoon in the Catskills.

As the phrase goes, you should Read The Whole Thing.

(Muchas gracias: Hatcher of Hatcher's Hack, who left this as a comment at cut on the bias.)

Posted at 7:14 AM to Dyssynergy


Fat housewife to Oprah: "My...I just can't...being so...heavy hurts my self-esteem." Oprah: "So stop sniveling and eat less. Next."

If Oprah started talking like that, Dr. Laura might sue.

Posted by: McGehee at 9:34 AM on 28 July 2004

Right on, Kevin. Reminds me of a South Park episode in which the entire child population of the town had been Ritalin-ized. Somewhere later in the episode, someone proposed a new solution to the ADHD problem: smack 'em upside the head, and yell something to the effect of "Shut up & do your damn schoolwork!" It worked.

Posted by: David at 11:05 PM on 28 July 2004

I like that coffee cup....but the Marines we had on board ship didn't have anything on their cups....the crayon marks kept coming off when ever they washed em.

*runs* *ducks* and *covers*

Posted by: Guy S. at 5:15 AM on 29 July 2004