The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

29 July 2004

A view from the blimp hangar

Chris Rywalt has seen too many scalpels wielded, or something:

The next person on the dissecting table [of Discovery Health's Extreme Fix] was a woman who had sustained a back injury. Her surgery and recovery left her unable to move for months, during which time she gained some weight. After being able to move again, she became depressed, and continued to gain weight. Soon, she had doubled her mass. She started out as a bikini contest winner and blimped up to 250 pounds.

At this point, she said on the show, she became embarrassed to leave the house. She was so mortified by how fat she was, she wanted to die. She simply couldn't live her life any more in such a condition.

I find this somewhat insulting. I am writing this as a six-foot-tall male weighing 314 pounds. I have never been embarrassed to leave the house. Many times I don't want to go out because I can't stand all the fit, air-headed bleach blondes who can't figure out how to work stop lights, stop signs, ATMs, cash registers, walk/don't walk signs, sidewalks, credit cards, automatic doors, shopping carts, and other accouterments of modern life. But simply being fat has never kept me in the house. Is this woman really that pea-brained?

Why, yes. Let's go on.

Speaking as a six-foot male weighing a tad more than 314 pounds at the moment — my driver's license says 295, but that's another issue — I'd just like to say that I go out of the house rather a lot. Sometimes I don't come back for a couple of weeks.

However, I must insist that I don't have any antipathy toward blondes, bleached or otherwise, conforming to the stereotype or otherwise; airheads can be of any hue, and there's more than sufficient supply to insure great variety thereof.

Posted at 10:19 AM to Dyssynergy

Different people do react differently to weight/size issues. I have always been a lot more okay with my weight situations than my wife has ever been.

And the same person can react differently from one occasion to the next. If I ever find myself looking at the 400-pound mark from as close-up as I once did, I'd be a lot more unhappy about it than I was before.

Posted by: McGehee at 10:49 AM on 29 July 2004

So long as I can still fit in one seat on Southwest Airlines, I'm not going to panic. Much.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:56 PM on 29 July 2004

His article was on the mark. I saw that show and he described it pretty much the way it was, especially the drippy kid at the end with the flat ass. A complete flake, couldn't be more than 22 years old, and she needed a "plumper" ass. I thought I'd seen everything until that idiot showed her face.

I have been watching these makeover shows and I have come to the same exact conclusions Rywalt did: no matter your age or size, you better get plastic surgery because your self-esteem will suffer and you will die a lonely, miserable, ugly death. And I may be pissing off some people with this statement, but I STILL believe most of these self-indulgent narcissists are too damn lazy to get off their f(l)at asses and get a good hour's worth of major exercise in BEFORE they get to being at the point they find themselves. I know I'll catch hell from those believing in the hormonal theories, but just like everything else, those are a minority of the population of whiners who complain "I'm fat and miserable and can't go out of the house because I'm so embarrassed."

I have never had an issue with anyone who is fine with their appearance. Those who are embarrassed and do nothing to help their cause except sit around whining and hoping for a little butt lift can kiss my not-bad-because-it-was-getting-fat-but-I-exercise-it-off-ass.

Posted by: Vickie at 8:04 AM on 30 July 2004

I happen to have something against bleached blondes because I married a true blonde, so I find people who fake their blondeness amusing. Since my wife is a college professor working on her doctorate, when I gave up after my bachelors, I can't say that all blondes are airheaded, anyway.

I just generally have a problem with a) stupid people (it's a bigotry I can't seem to ditch) and b) people who pretend to be something they're not. It seems to me bleached blondes who get plastic surgery generally fit both categories, and so I fire both barrels.

It's true that airheads can come in any hair color. But did you ever notice airheads tend, more often than intelligent people, to be fakers, too?

Posted by: Chris Rywalt at 7:09 PM on 25 August 2004