24 October 2004
Make mine vanilla
I am Caucasian. Certain parts of my body are so pasty white that I could apply as a stand-in for the Pillsbury Doughboy. I am heterosexual, and I'm sure my husband is quite pleased with that turn of events. I am female, another thing that pleases my husband no end. My lineage isn't chic half Cajun, part Native American, Irish, and Scottish which doesn't qualify for affirmative action or government programs. I am not a minority. I am not "oppressed" or maligned. I don't use hyphens to describe myself. I'm not a this or a that American.
Know what that makes me? A plain vanilla milkshake. Not some exotic Starbuck's concoction, which is damned depressing in this climate of whining, gimme gimme gimme Nanny State government. I feel left out.
And that's only the beginning.
Allow me to point out, however, that in the Real World, vanilla is highly prized and very expensive, and that most people settle for an inferior imitation thereof.Posted at 11:46 AM to Almost Yogurt