The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

27 November 2004

The National Blackguard Association

The Armchair Athletes' NBA Boycott (slogan: "53 disgusted fans and counting") has apparenly inspired's Sally Allen:

Imagine, a sports world minus the whining and wailing — where character counts more than championships — and consumers can make the call simply by changing channels or closing their wallets.

No longer will children's attitudes be poisoned by greedy, egocentric, semi-psychotic athletes and their vicious, bickering, tantrum-throwing tirades.

Gullible parents won't be guilt-tripped into buying $200 basketball shoes packaged in little black briefcases as if to create the ultimate Nike-contract illusion.

And, God willing, no longer will NBA franchise-wannabes be lured to the Ford Center's annual overpriced October exhibition game.

Imagine, worry-free watching of sporting events. Spending quality time with our families sans explanations of wardrobe malfunctions, sexual assault charges, naked women in men's locker rooms and/or reassuring your 10-year-old that four-hour erections most likely won't ever happen to him.

Me, I've had no trouble ignoring the NBA ever since they decided that it was perfectly reasonable to let a team in Utah be called the Jazz. And I speak as someone who once lived in Los Angeles and never once saw a lake.

Posted at 5:54 AM to Net Proceeds

did you happen by La Brea? I hear that is quite a "lake."

Posted by: rammer at 10:57 PM on 27 November 2004

Most of L.A.'s lakes are in the hills, behind dams. Which doesn't explain the full range of roundball players' language, but it's a start.

Posted by: McGehee at 7:24 AM on 28 November 2004

La Brea? It's the pits.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:26 AM on 28 November 2004

As an old Laker fan, I must defend the good name (though not the honor) of that Minneapolis original.

- Named Minneapolis Lakers in reference to the large cargo-carrying ships that traversed the Great Lakes.
- The Lakers franchise predates the NBA. The Minneapolis Lakers' first season was 1947-48, when the team entered the National Basketball League.
- 1965-68: Jack Kent Cooke Purchases Lakers For $5 Million from Bob Short.

Now the Rams on the other hand... how many rams can there be in Cleveland, L.A. or St. Louis?

Personally, I like the idea of all pro team names remaining with the city instead of moving with the franchise.

Posted by: MikeH at 8:28 AM on 29 November 2004

Same here. When the Jazz left New Orleans, they should have adopted something appropriate to Salt Lake City: sand fleas, teetotalers, skiers, something like that.

Then again, the old Brooklyn (Trolley) Dodgers fit in well when they moved to Los Angeles; there may be no trolley running to Chavez Ravine, but there's no shortage of traffic one must dodge.

Posted by: CGHill at 8:41 AM on 29 November 2004