3 December 2004
Double unsecret probation
[T]he university will hire a licensed alcohol counselor. Let's see ... 27,000 enrolled binge-drinkers vs. one counselor ... that's about adequate for mass rehabilitation (insert sarcasm graphic).
Seventy-seven percent of respondents to NewsOK's recent poll agreed with OU's new policies banning campus drinking, which means exactly squat statistically since we all know college students don't vote.
There is good news for those pre-inebriated, orange-toting Sooner faithful football fans campus parking lots have been designated "Safe Havens of Intoxication" as the new alcohol ban won't affect tailgating. (Your parents' tuition dollars at work!)
Then again, this is the state that gave us "non-intoxicating" 3.2 beer.
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