The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

12 December 2004

Semi-prurient interests

Since by nature I tend to be squarer than SpongeBob's pants, any revelation here that I am occasionally subject to the natural (and, well, okay, unnatural) urges that afflict us from time to time tends to get horrified emails, or worse, disgusted comments.

Still, some things arouse my, um, curiosity. For instance, the one question everyone seems to want to know about actress Lindsay Lohan is whether whether she's had the front line of her balcony resculpted. * I don't really want to know, but I'd love to catch a few outtakes from the photo session for the cover of Entertainment Weekly #797, which features Lindsay in nothing but tights yet shows scarcely any flesh. (Score one for the trompe l'oeil guys.)

Speaking of magazine pieces, whose idea was it to pose Dakota Fanning, not yet ten fercrissake, in the November Movieline's Hollywood Life with her hair tossed back and her legs crossed, like some sort of HO-scale Gwyneth Paltrow?

And oh, just because it sounds so utterly bizarre: imagine a porn film, preferably a short one, in which all the participants have Tourette's syndrome. **

* Link probably not safe for work.

** Link definitely not safe for work.

Posted at 6:28 PM to General Disinterest


TrackBack: 1:25 PM, 13 December 2004
» Addition from Res Ipsa Loquitur
I've added Charles of dustbury.com to the blogroll because he writes posts like this that make me giggle for hours.......[read more]

Real or not, they sure are purty.

Posted by: michele at 6:46 PM on 12 December 2004

Either way, I'd like to think that should someone be rude enough to ask "Are those really yours?" she'd have the presence of mind to respond, "Of course they are, and I have the receipt to prove it."

Posted by: CGHill at 6:56 PM on 12 December 2004

I don't understand why people get so worked up about plastic surgery. Looking pretty IS her job.

Too bad she's so into tanning. So young - such bad skin.

Posted by: Dan at 7:51 PM on 12 December 2004

Solution, dan: Fake tanner. That's why she's delightfully orange. And though looking pretty is her job, it'd be wonderful if she'd shut up to do it.

Posted by: garrett at 5:11 AM on 13 December 2004

Earlier shots of her suggest that she's decidedly, maybe even delightfully, freckled; I suspect she's trying her best to cover up.

Posted by: CGHill at 6:57 AM on 13 December 2004

Hmmm. Freckled? Orange?

I'd choose freckled. Orange is so ... Kerry-like.

Posted by: McGehee at 11:02 AM on 13 December 2004

I've been giggling all morning about the Tourette's movie.

Posted by: rita at 1:13 PM on 13 December 2004