The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

30 January 2005

Sweating the small stuff

My deodorant of choice for the past six or seven years has been Avon's Cool Confidence, a product which works the Secret turf ("strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"), and which has the distinct advantage of being kinder to pertinent articles of clothing than most of the products I've tried from the competition. And besides, it was shipped in this neat sort-of-cylindrical plastic bottle that could easily be stood on its top, the better to drain out those last few precious drops.

The Major Babe who vends Avon to us poor shlubs at 42nd and Treadmill duly delivered my periodic six-bottle order this week, and to my horror, they'd come up with a new bottle design with a vague hourglass shape which looks shorter, even though it isn't, and which looks like it holds less, even though it doesn't. Worse, it has a translucent blue top that looks for all the world like a gumball taken off the roof of a toy highway-patrol car. "How am I supposed to upend this darn thing?" I wondered, grumbling about the added expense I was surely facing.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I can afford the pound foolishness, though, only because I take the time to be pennywise elsewhere. (Over six years, I've probably saved a good two, maybe three bucks.) And after a little practice, I've figured out how to stand the new bottle on its top: it does a little bit of Weebling, then settles into a reasonable facsimile of stability. I am happy, especially since I don't have to complain to the Major Babe, who, like most of the rest of the world, hates it when I complain.

Posted at 1:45 PM to General Disinterest

Won't the old flat-top cap fit on the new bottle? Alternate suggestion: can you dispense the contents of a new bottle into an old one?

Posted by: McGehee at 6:26 PM on 30 January 2005

The caps aren't interchangeable at all. (The new bottle has a wider ball.) I suppose it's possible to do that, but if I can open a new bottle, I can combine the dregs of several into one.

Come to think of it, why would Avon think this product needs a wider ball? Have women been screaming for one?

Posted by: CGHill at 6:38 PM on 30 January 2005

MAJOR BABE!!! I delivered to your for how many years?? and even told you when it was on special sale. I never got a major babe out of you!!

Posted by: Leslie at 6:35 PM on 31 January 2005

And what would happen if I came on to you? Exactly.

At least she laughs. :)

Posted by: CGHill at 6:44 PM on 31 January 2005


Posted by: Leslie at 6:52 PM on 4 February 2005