The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

5 February 2005

A fistful of loonies

Canada's national identity is verging on a crisis, reports Debbye Stratigacos from Toronto:

Two main legs of Canadian identity are health care and hockey, and both are way past life-support systems.

Today the despised American-style health system is the only resort for Canadians suffering and even dying on the waiting lists the treasured health care system offers in place of actual medical care, and some treatments are even being offered to Canadians at a discount by some enterprising American doctors.

As for hockey, attention NHL owners, players, and assorted others: it's February, you morons, and yet you're pretending there might yet be a chance for a hockey season? This season is dead, defunct. It has passed on. Canada survived without NHL hockey and the CBC showed some pretty decent double-billed movies on Saturday nights. End of story.

Is there nothing to assuage the pain of the anguished residents of the Great White North?

So what's left when health care and hockey are out for the count? The U.N., peacekeeping forces, and moral superiority.

Exposure of the debasement of the U.N. Oil-for-Food Program remains sparse and although a story [yesterday] speculates about possible Canadian connections to Hussein's oil, the conflict of interest of former PM Chretien due to his familial ties to Power Corp. and thus TotalFinaElf remains an unpublicized and unexplored factor in Canada's membership in the Axis of Weasels.

Remember when the argument would be made that Canadians had consciously reduced their military in order to nationalize a world-class health system?

Then he who was then Finance Minister and is now the Prime Minister, Paul Martin, decided to reduce the national debt by withholding money from the provinces which should have gone into the health care system. Now there's neither accessible health care nor military strength up here, but cruel history provided events in Liberia, Haiti (including the devastation of last summer's hurricanes) Sudan and a tsunami to accentuate the harsh reality that Canada can no longer respond to international crises nor provide peacekeeping to protect innocent people from genocide crimes against humanity.

Okay, scratch those. How about "moral superiority"?

Above all, Canadians are compassionate. If you don't believe me, just ask them. They will expound at length as to how much more compassionate and caring and enlightened they are than Americans. (They've even got some Americans believing it.) Why, they're close to achieving a plane of compassionate existence that's almost European! Unfortunately, they spend so much time and money proclaiming it that they never get around to actually doing much that is compassionate, caring or enlightened but a cynicism has set in that allows that it's the appearance that matters, not the deeds.

Or, as Dr. Laurence J. Peter once explained, "An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance."

Still, except for that hockey business, all this sounds an awful lot like our bluer states.

Posted at 9:28 AM to Dyssynergy


I have something of a collection of Canadian identity stories (largely to irritate my brother-in-law with). Here's one of my favorites. A Canadian newspaper (I forget which one) had a contest for the best completion of the following phrase: “As Canadian as…”. The winning entry was “As Canadian as possible under the circumstances”.

Posted by: Dave Schuler at 9:50 AM on 5 February 2005

From one of the excerpts: The U.N., peacekeeping forces, and moral superiority.

I'm sorry, I read that last as "moral superfluity."

And I think my eyes had it closer to the truth, but anyway...

Posted by: McGehee at 3:02 PM on 5 February 2005