New improved full dimensional stereotypes
This made the email rounds and wound up in The Oklahoma Observer, fercryingoutloud, so I figure it's probably semi-safe to post. If you're considering seeking an engineering degree from a college in this state, you should be able to answer the following questions:
- Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.
- Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard: a '65 Ford Fairlane, a '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or a '64 Pontiac GTO?
- If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of 'shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
- A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
- If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
- A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field-rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is one-inch rough-sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
- A man owns a Little Dixie house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
- A two-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
- A coal mine operates an NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the third shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
- At a reduction in the gene-pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?
As always, be sure to show your work.
Posted at 8:20 AM to Soonerland