The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

11 April 2005

Testier than thou

The Oklahoman's self-described "Anti-News Editor" Sally Allen has had it up to here with the squabbling in Oklahoma County government:

Since taking office in January, commissioners [Brent] Rinehart and [Stan] Inman have spent numerous man-hours publicly criticizing current county officials, disseminating memos of mass destruction, and otherwise displaying the political tact of Jane Fonda wielding a communist anti-aircraft gun.

County commission meetings, which formerly required massive doses of caffeine, now regularly consist of heated arguments over extremely important budgetary matters, such as whether or not to create the "Commission to Decide on the Anatomically Correct Definition of 'Sexual Orientation'."

Meanwhile, longtime county officials have reacted to commissioners' criticism with the patience and wisdom of seasoned public servants, similar to the way Indiana Pacers react to potentially lethal plastic cups.

Allen's proffered solution is also anatomically correct:

I'd like to suggest a worry-free way in which REAL MEN resolve their power struggles without further burdening the taxpayers. This simple, inexpensive solution requires only two things — a locker room and a tape measure. I'll donate the tape measure.

Bring a micrometer and a pair of Don Alverso's tweezers while you're at it.

Posted at 8:02 AM to City Scene


TrackBack: 8:49 PM, 11 April 2005
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bwaaaahahahaha!!! And that's all I have to say about that! oh yeah.. I'm still laughing.........[read more]



We can't really blame the other county officials for trying to rein in the insane ones. We elected them to protect our interests, and that's what their doing.

Posted by: Dan at 10:11 AM on 11 April 2005

Ahh!! "they're doing" not "their doing."

If I didn't have so much to live for, I'd commit seppuk.

Posted by: Dan at 10:38 AM on 11 April 2005

I'm with Dan ... if it weren't for Jim Roth I think ole Stan and Brent would run wild.I mean massage chairs and other high dollar googaws? Jim is a heckuva honest fella and very concious of his place as a steward of the county.

Posted by: Ron at 11:44 AM on 11 April 2005