The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

14 June 2005

Out of my league

I would dearly love to snipe at this guy:

This may not sound like a problem, but it is: My girlfriend is too rich. In a nutshell, I basically feel like crap all the time. We both worked in the same industry, only she's a stock-lottery winner while I was unemployed for almost two years, went broke, and finally moved in desperation to work in the city we both live in. She will not have to work for a very long time (or ever, as far as I can tell), dines like a queen, has a gorgeous house. I live in a small apartment and am ever the exhausted corporate cog, still financially making up for two years of having no money plus living far from friends and family. She travels everywhere, gets plenty of sleep, and generally has/does everything I've ever wanted or dreamed of. She is endlessly kind, smart, hilarious, and I absolutely adore her. But all the while I feel like a Grade A Loser, not to mention not much of a man. The envy and sadness eats at me rather constantly — she has no idea how badly. Am I just a whiner or what? Please advise.

Unfortunately for me, I suspect that were I in the same position, I would emit exactly the same annoying noises. (Does this mean I should be grateful for the attention I don't get?)

Posted at 12:49 PM to Table for One

I too believe I would feel the same as this guy - I can even relate to the 2-year "under employment" issue. On the other hand, if she is such a wonderful woman (money or not) ... marry her man!

Posted by: Mel at 12:57 PM on 14 June 2005

I'll gladly trade issues with him anytime.

Posted by: Joe at 2:01 PM on 14 June 2005

Fortunately, this loser emits such a stinkbomb of self-loathing that she'll dump his sorry ass and find someone without such issues. Unfortunately for her, I'm already happily married.

Posted by: Bill Peschel at 3:08 PM on 14 June 2005

What does she see in him? The charitable guess: she loves him for his finer qualities and hopes he will grow out of his neuroses. The uncharitable guess: she enjoys being the one with the financial power in the relationship, and for this dubious pleasure she is more than willing to put up with the whinings and snipings he no doubt emits from time to time, not to mention the fog of self-pity in which he seems to be perpetually enwrapped (I rather doubt she has "no idea" of how much his envy and sadness "eat at him").

Posted by: Andrea Harris at 6:11 PM on 14 June 2005

I'm pretty sure he's doing a lousy job of keeping it secret; women, in my experience, are quite effective at reading this sort of reaction.

What drew me to this, of course, apart from the writer's world-class self-pity (I'd bet he has a blog of some sort), is my own tendency to want to punch above my own weight class; historically, I have fallen hardest for those I was least likely to get.

Posted by: CGHill at 6:36 PM on 14 June 2005

If he's capable of being happy at all, he'll get over the checkbook envy somehow. If he can't get over it, then even getting to be one of the filthy rich beautiful people for his own part wouldn't make him happy -- he'd still somehow find a reason to be miserable.

Posted by: McGehee at 7:47 PM on 14 June 2005