The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

29 July 2005

Nothing venturi'd, nothing gained

There has been no small amount of mockery of Dan McKay's 2005 Bulwer-Lytton prize winner, which goes like this:

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.

Some would argue that this comparison is inapt. I demur. Women and carburetors (or carburettors, in the British manner) have much in common:

  • You always wonder if (and, if so, why) the original specifications have been changed.

  • It's possible to upset them if you toss them from side to side.

  • Some people insist that the amount you can get them to swallow is of primary importance.

  • When they don't flow, you should worry.

  • Replacing them with newer models will not necessarily get you better performance.

[Insert "fuel injection" joke here]

(Suggested by Dan Lovejoy; submitted to Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks.)

Posted at 11:00 AM to Almost Yogurt


And finally gettin' 'er started on a chilly morning can actually be quite an accomplishment...

Posted by: McGehee at 10:02 AM on 30 July 2005

And the first time you diassemble one, the mess in the kitchen is quite astonishing....

A carburetor, I mean......

Posted by: me at 3:19 PM on 5 August 2005