The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

11 August 2005

Invasive species

Nobody said it was going to be easy for the Democrats in 2008, what with population shifts and gerrymandering and all manner of other obstacles standing athwart their Path to Power.

Dwayne has a suggestion: "Move."

Yup, that's right. Determine how many folks you need to keep on the coasts & in Illinois to maintain a majority. Hold a lottery or something, and the winners get to invade the Heartland and swing the balance of power. Now some states would be easy to overthrow, due to their small population, Wyoming & Montana come to mind. Others, that voted more heavily for Bush, Utah & Oklahoma, would require a larger concentration of the coastal experts to move in, register, vote & move out.

There are some residency laws, but I'm sure that Alec Baldwin would rather live in Nichols Hills than Canada, [Janeane Garofalo] could move in next door to me & I'd even mow her yard. I would even dress up like an illegal if it made her feel better & overcharge her so she wouldn't feel guilty about taking advantage of a poor redneck wetback Christian Anglo Hispanic white-trash right-winger. (did I mention that I'm part Indian too?) All of these rich coastal types could afford to move here, spend a wad of cash bringing their lifestyle to our state, swing the vote & then move on, without even making a dent in their HUGE pocketbooks.

I think it's a great idea, there are several houses for sale in my neighborhood right now, operators are standing by. Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, you're all invited over to my house for some Boca Burgers.

Besides, we're a lot warmer than Canada.

(Update, 9:30 am, 12 August: Dwayne has numbers — and a name! — for the proposal.)

Posted at 4:05 PM to Political Science Fiction


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