21 August 2005
He's just not that into ... something
So this guy I have a thing for, but who lives on the other side of the country, is coming to visit and will stay with me for one night. I've had the hots for him since the moment I met him a few years ago. A friend who has seen us together said she definitely detected two-way sparks. Here's the problem: he never makes any sort of move and neither do I, being very insecure. (I'm cute but 30 pounds overweight.) The last time I saw him, he walked me home after dinner and I invited him up (which is as forward as I get and really, can that be taken any other way?) but he declined. Obviously, the likely answer is that he isn't attracted to me. But I can't understand why such a smart, funny and hot straight 40-year-old guy is single in the first place. Could he just be hopeless around women? Here's my shot to find out for good and all. What do I do? The idea is he will sleep in the living room but I want him in my bed. Yet, I don't want to throw myself at him and be rejected and make the rest of the night painfully embarrassing for both of us. I was thinking of asking him flat out over drinks why such an attractive man is single. Is that a direct enough message? How can I make it plain that I'm hot to trot while protecting both of us from embarrassment if the feeling isn't mutual?
(No, this has nothing to do with me. I'm way over 40 and decidedly unappealing, and the odds that anyone would have the hots for me are essentially nil. I will, however, cop to "hopeless around women.")
You probably should read the entire thread. (And if you do, you'll learn how it turned out, or more precisely didn't, turn out.) I'm bringing it up here, though, for the same reason I introduce a lot of stuff here: just to see what kind of responses it brings.Posted at 2:57 PM to Table for One