The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

23 August 2005

Doppled and drowsy and ready for sleet

The Weather Wars heat up in the Big Apple:

Doppler 4 was replaced by Doppler 4000, a preventive unilateral escalation presumably designed to keep any meteorological rivals from achieving Doppler supremacy.

Now it has happened. Say hello to — we kid you not — Channel 2's new Doppler 2 Million.

Five hundred times as good? I don't think so. (Here in the middle of Tornado Alley, the big Doppler news is KFOR's 350-kw facility, compared to those feeble 250-kw operations run by Those Other Guys.)

But things could get worse:

What scares us most about this crazy Doppler arms race is the possibility of loose Dopplers. Because one day advanced Doppler technology will fall into the hands of Fox 5.

And then it's all over.

Gary England, you better watch your back.

Posted at 12:48 PM to Overmodulation

But is Iran developing Doppler radar?

Posted by: McGehee at 9:55 PM on 23 August 2005

Come to think of it, maybe we need to resume the search in Iraq for WMDs (wavelengths of mass detection).

Posted by: McGehee at 9:57 PM on 23 August 2005

yes, but are the dopplers to blame, or are they merely a manifestation of the meteorological uncertainty foisted upon us by such root causes as pressure, heat, and moisture? deprived of such things even the most moderate weather system can turn ugly and fall for the blandishments of unscrupulous preachers of hate.

Posted by: akaky at 9:13 AM on 24 August 2005

Don't you mean, "Doppled and drizzly and ready for sleet?"

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 9:28 PM on 25 August 2005