Rule One: When a catastrophe story is real, do NOT wait for the DVD.

Rule Two: One reporter with a satellite truck is worth more than a thousand "photo ops."

Rule Three: Turning off the bad news does not turn off the bad news.

Rule Four: When everyone around you is right, something is wrong.

Rule Five: A career change from equestrian arts to federal emergency management is like trading one end of the horse for the other.

Rule Six: Natural disasters, terror attacks and divorces all produce the same result — somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Rule Seven: Trading Sammy Sosa is not the worst mistake you could ever make.

Rule Eight: In case of rapture, call the Coast Guard!