21 September 2005
Return of the hanging judge
Not that you or I or anyone in the courtroom wants to know how it's hanging, but oh, let's have Sean Gleeson finish the story:
The trial of former District Judge Donald Thompson, accused of onanistic impropriety in his Creek County courtroom, starts Monday
in Bristow. Among the state’s evidence will be a masturbatory device which has been sawed in half, and 180 hours of audio tapes on which can be heard a telltale rhythmic whooshing sound.
(Previous coverage here and here.)
Counsel for the former jurist, at least in public, is confident his client will beat the rap.
Posted at 7:41 AM to Soonerland
And you know, I was already the top Google result for "onanistic impropriety."
Surely there is something to be said about the penal code in this case.
I'm sure they warned him about banging his gavel.
Thompson hired the lawyer because he wasn't sure he could get himself off.
At the arraignment, Thompson forgot to bring his briefs.
Aww, shucks, he's just a victim of the "short arm of the law"
But he'll always be remembered for his seminal work.
To this day, Thompson holds the record for the most charges of battery.
I hear that his defense will be that he was doing it pro bono.
His case is inches away from a climatic conclusion ...