The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

29 September 2005

Strange search-engine queries

Some of what's come down the line just today:

"nancy sinatra" topless nude naked: I figure if she's either nude or naked, "topless" goes without saying.

can a woman get pregnant from a jackass: I could point you to a source, but it is contrary to site policy to post my ex-wife's email address here. I note in passing that I have two children.

What city in the US requires all businesses to have working condom machines on the premises?: Boston had such an ordinance for businesses that serve alcohol back in around 1993, but it was thrown out by a Superior Court judge.

Incredibles invisible girl picture: What kind of nimrod has pictures of invisible girls? (Oh. Right.)

ann coulter shoe size: I have no idea, but I suspect it's not a 5. (There were also two requests for her height.)

who bought fleet visa accounts?: Bank of America. Not to be confused with the similar Fleet enemas.

beach boy song includes a reference to hal and his famous ashtray: "Barbara Ann," from Beach Boys' Party! "Hal" is drummer Hal Blaine.

taco bell ingredients toxic: Well, duh.

(Note: This is not quite a sequel to this.)

Posted at 6:34 PM to You Asked For It


"nancy sinatra" topless nude naked: I figure if she's either nude or naked, "topless" goes without saying.

Reminds me of the search string that got me started on my most notorious googlebomb -- something about a certain pair of then-underage twin teen movie starlets "nude wearing lingering."

Posted by: McGehee at 9:23 PM on 29 September 2005

Ok -- you know how computer literate I am.

I don't understand how others' Google searches come to you..'splain fer me, please.

Posted by: Vickie at 5:11 AM on 30 September 2005

Google serves up, in order of perceived importance according to its calculations, all pages it has indexed which contain the search terms. In the case of the first item, it looks for "nancy sinatra" (as a unit, otherwise it would look for any Nancy and any Sinatra) with those other words. As of this writing, my Birthday Suitable category archive, which contains mentions of those other words plus a reference to Ms Sinatra's Playboy appearance, comes up 30th in the search results, which means that the searcher presumably went through, or at least glanced at, 29 previous pages before he hit this one.

The JavaScript that runs the little six-digit (for now) counter also records the URL which contains the link which brought you to this site; if it was a search-engine query, the query will have the search terms in its URL, so it's ridiculously easy to see the subject of the search. (If you came in through a bookmark/favorite, there is no URL, and the script reports nothing but the IP address.)

The queries in the form of a question came in through Ask Jeeves; they work similarly, though they have to weed out words like "Why" and "How" and such.

Posted by: CGHill at 7:23 AM on 30 September 2005

"can a woman get pregnant from a jackass"

My ex-wife thinks so.

Posted by: mike at 7:17 PM on 30 September 2005