The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

10 October 2005

In the dark all cats are grey

Benjamin Franklin, tongue perhaps in cheek (though we'll never know for sure), once explained why younger men should seek out older women, and this is the sentence that always struck me the hardest:

The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend making an old Woman happy.

Not that I have any experience making old women happy — for now, we will overlook the young ones I may have made miserable — but that's not why we're here.

A fellow identified as "Steve Trevor," noting a reference to Harold and Maude in this Donnaville post, commented as follows:

I can tell you, anecdotally, that when I was a 21 year-old college junior, I dated one of my professors, who was 54 at the time.

She was childless, divorced, and had a PhD in British History. She looked about 45, and drove a pretty cool Nissan 300-ZX. We often enjoyed the symphony, opera, and other cultural events.

I loved her dearly; she most definitely provided me with a proper initiation to the finer things in life, and the countless joys of dating older women.

Older women tend to know what they like, and aren't perpetually indecisive. Their physical passion may not be at the same level as younger women, but the emotional intensity and bonds formed are purer, and sweeter.

To all the male readers of the Donnaville, you haven't truly lived until you've dated a woman in her late-40s or older. If nothing else, the experience will provide you with a good life barometer. The fiery intensity of an older woman's kisses, alone, is worth the experience.

I never claimed to have truly lived, and I suspect I would have thought twice before posting something like that to the blog of a woman barely into her thirties, but maybe that's just me and my off-center sense of propriety.

Still, I suspect that there's truth to what he says, and really, there are worse things in life than being on the same side of an issue as Ben Franklin.

Posted at 10:27 AM to Table for One


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When I was 20 I dated a 47-year old for a few months. While it did have its share of awkward moments, the relationship itself was fantastic.

Eventually it ended because her son (three years older than me) gave her such a hard time about us. When she wanted to get back together a few months later, I'd moved on and was dating someone else.

I did, however, end up marrying a woman nine years my senior.

Posted by: Cam at 12:13 PM on 10 October 2005

The beauties of the older woman:
-- They won't tell,
-- They don't smell,
-- They won't yell,
-- They seldom swell,
-- And they're grateful as hell.

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 3:46 PM on 10 October 2005

Just to set the record straight: The lady was older than dirt! It had less to do with him being attracted to her sophistication and more to do with him being a premature necrophiliac.

Posted by: Donna at 5:32 PM on 10 October 2005

Just to set the record straight: I am not older than dirt.

Dirt did sign my yearbook, though.

Posted by: CGHill at 5:53 PM on 10 October 2005

"To all the male readers of the Donnaville, you haven't truly lived until you've dated a woman in her late-40s or older. If nothing else, the experience will provide you with a good life barometer. The fiery intensity of an older woman's kisses, alone, is worth the experience."

Reflecting on it, this seems to be accord with other types of experiences. Food, for example. Sundried tomatos possess more intense flavor than regular tomatos. Prunes have more concentrated flavor than plums. Perhaps it stands to reason that characteristics exhibited by dried-out, wrinkly fruit are also be found in women.

Posted by: Brisbane at 8:27 PM on 10 October 2005

I always knew I loved Cam Edwards.

And Brisbane? "Dried-out?" "Wrinkly?"

Ouuuuuch.

Posted by: Margi at 9:29 AM on 11 October 2005

Never mind dating. I'm married to a woman in her fifties. Of course she's still only three months older than me, just like when we met thirty -some years ago...

Posted by: triticale at 7:40 PM on 11 October 2005

Huh. And I thought it was all just a variation of the Oedipus complex.

Posted by: sya at 3:50 PM on 15 October 2005

"Oedipus, schmoedipus, so long as you love your mother."

Posted by: CGHill at 5:56 PM on 15 October 2005