I participated in a phone survey for the Timberwolves basketball team the other day; asked how many games I intended to attend, I pressed the number indicating "Zero." Asked what was a major factor in my attendance choice, I waited for the option that said "Because it is basketball, and while I have an abstract appreciation of the athleticism and coordination involved in such an enterprise, I would rather sit in a soft chair and read a book. Even a book about basketball." But the survey seemed fixated on matters of price and seat location and disinclined to press the matter of my general objections. Ah well.

Every sports event I've ever attended eventually felt like I was stuck in traffic. And then, after it was done, I'd get in my car, and be stuck in traffic.