Which goes on my permanent record, surely
Following Julie Neidlinger's lead, a list of Ten Sort Of Vaguely Unclean Secrets:
- There is a product called MICR-Shield which dissolves the magnetic encoding imprinted on checks during the processing stage. Nasty stuff. In an office prank, I once feigned drinking an entire 6-ounce bottle of it.
- I spanked my daughter once. I think I cried for longer than she did.
- During the days when I had occasion to drive through the Mojave Desert, I carried extra jugs of engine coolant, and occasionally sold them to stranded motorists at a profit.
- I had a heck of a lot more sex before the vasectomy than afterwards.
- Only once did I ever try to ice-skate: in a parking lot in central Massachusetts in mid-January. The results well, I'm grateful they didn't have mass-market portable video in those days.
- I once was a bowling-league secretary, and put my own name in for the Least-Improved trophy.
- When I was six, two of us first-grade boys had crushes on the same blonde girl; I was actually fool enough to propose a time-sharing plan.
- For some reason, I got it into my head that the sexiest possible female foot has a second toe longer than the big one. I say "for some reason" because I have no idea where the idea came from, and because I've never dated anyone meeting that description.
- I scored a couple of detentions for possession of a dummy grenade in Latin class.
- My ex once hosed me down with Malathion. She swears it was an accident. All I know is that I've never had any problem with Mediterranean fruit flies.
Feel free to go and do likewise. Post a list, I mean.
Posted at 6:24 AM to Screaming Memes
TrackBack: 1:06 PM, 19 October 2005
» Unclean from camedwards.com
Via Dustbury, Ten Vaguely Unclean Secrets About Me. 1. I once made hot chocolate come out of Robert Sean Leonard's nose. At the time he was Bobby Leonard, and I was an 8-year old smartass in Ridgewood, New Jersey.