The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

31 October 2005

The herpsichorean muse

The state of New York is trying to select an official state reptile:

New York has a slew of state things that show our legislature in action. New York, for example, has a state muffin (the apple muffin) and a state beverage (milk) and even a state bird (the bluebird), all of which is very wholesome for the tourists but does not fool those of us who live here one damn bit. Everyone here knows that there is no state muffin, only the state bagel, that the state beverage is the manhattan, and that the state bird is the bird (Flippus birdus), a species native to the state highway system and most often seen at intersections throughout the state displaying itself for the edification of people who haven’t figured out for themselves that the No Turn On Red sign means that they shouldn’t come roaring around the corner at seventy miles an hour in a thirty mile an hour zone. But New York has no state reptile, and since New York will not remain behind other states like denial, anxiety, and depression, the state legislature has sprung into action and is now considering the issue.

I assume they've already decided that Chuck Schumer is ineligible.

For the curious, the Oklahoma state reptile is the Collared Lizard or Mountain Boomer, Crotaphytus collaris.

Posted at 12:17 PM to Dyssynergy


TrackBack: 1:13 PM, 31 October 2005
» Lovably Snarky Quote of the Day from The Fire Ant Gazette
Comes to us from the honey-coated keyboard of Dustbury, from which, after contemplation of New York's search for a state reptile, this perfectly logical observation was offered: I assume they've already decided that Chuck Schumer is ineligible. Heh.......[read more]

TrackBack: 9:52 PM, 1 November 2005
» So Many Punchlines, So Little Time from Yippee-Ki-Yay!

The state of New York ("What is, disrepair?") is looking to designate an official state reptile.
Let me know when Massachusetts decides to designate an official state marine mammal.

...[read more]

Mmmm. Collared Lizard and hamhocks.

Posted by: Dan at 3:33 PM on 31 October 2005

Ha! Good one.

Posted by: Mr. Snitch! at 6:55 PM on 1 November 2005

So when is West Virginia going to designate an official state fossil?

Posted by: McGehee at 9:53 PM on 1 November 2005

As soon as he dies.

Posted by: CGHill at 10:01 PM on 1 November 2005

No, in fact Chuck was considered a shoe-in for the job, but someone told him he wouldnt be getting enough facetime on the tv, and, of course, there's that whole thing about people not being to hold state and Federal office at the same time. They'll figure a way around that someday, I'm sure, but for the time being they're stuck with it. And thanks for the link, CG, although it does seem strange to me that your link wound up with more links and trackbacks than the original. Ah well, such is life ;-)

Posted by: akaky at 9:04 AM on 3 November 2005