The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

31 October 2005

Should the filibuster fail

Mike Hendrix on the next contestant on The Court Is (Far) Right:

If Alito is confirmed, we can surely expect to see the end of human freedom and the advent of gulags and re-education camps; all wages, salaries, and other income will be seized for use in the Rethugnicans' Kill The Poor program, and all private property will be legally turned over to Exxon immediately. There will be automatic weapons in every American living room. We will all be forced to wear ugly, rumpled grey tunics as we're marched off to the Reagan Memorial National Extermination Centers, and our children will be forced to sing Jesus Loves Me This I Know as they cook our intestines over fires stoked by the torn remnants of our cancer-riddled flesh.

This, of course, is unspeakable. Grey tunics? By Gandalf's snowy pubes, the International Criminal Court shall hear of this!

Addendum, 2 November, 8:10 pm: Lynn doesn't think this is all that funny.

Posted at 7:27 PM to Political Science Fiction

You forgot to mention back alley abortions.

Posted by: Miriam at 9:11 PM on 31 October 2005

Well, you know, he's only one man: he can't do everything.

Besides, he reeks of penis.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:14 PM on 31 October 2005

The real error in this piece is Exxon... It should be Haliburton!

Posted by: Punctilious at 8:32 AM on 2 November 2005