The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

9 November 2005

In the beginning

State Representative Humus B. Kyddenme last month began drafting a bill for the 2006 session of the Legislature which would mandate the teaching of any and all creation stories which might be pertinent to state residents. With thirty-nine Native American tribes in some way connected to the state, it's possible that the first month of Biology I will be devoted entirely to them. In the Cherokee story, for instance, all the animals originally lived in the sky, above the water, and when the sky became too crowded, Dayuni'si, the water beetle, volunteered to explore what lay below. He found no solid ground, but did find mud at the bottom of the water; the animals attached strings to the corners, hauled the mud up to the surface, and waited for it to dry. (It was left for the wings of the great Buzzard from Galun'lati to finish the job.)

The discovery last week of a small traditional Egyptian community near Tahlequah made it necessary for Kyddenme to include their story as well. Atum, rising from Heliopolis (City of the Sun), produced Shu, the air, and Tefnut, moisture, by "copulating with his hand"; they, in turn, begat Earth and Sky by way of possibly more conventional methods. It's not likely that the state text will contain any illustrations of Atum's act of manipulation, though Rep. Thad Balkman might be able to help.

Posted at 6:17 PM to Soonerland

LOL ... I hope ole Thaddeus locates that fossil record that backs up ID.

This is why I couldnt live anywhere else ... you just know it can't get any nuttier and then presto ... Thad the Impaler comes along.

Posted by: Ron at 11:47 PM on 9 November 2005