The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

1 December 2005

Whigged out

As the GOP establishes itself as the Party of Big Government (the Democrats remain the Party of Frickin' Huge Government), the lines are starting to blur, so this makes a certain amount of sense:

I'm beginning to think perhaps we need to get rid of the label Democrat and Republican. Those terms seem to mean less and less as time moves forward.

In a sort-of "truth in advertising" policy, we would have two political parties: The "Mama-Knows-Best" party and the "Just-Cut-Your-Damn-Hair-And-Get-A-Job" party.

The MKB would wrap each voter in a loving cocoon of security and safety. Well, it must be safe and secure cause you can't see outside the cocoon to see what is going on. In the MKB-led country, you would never need to worry about having to make those painful decisions about finance and religion. Of course, it is a very expensive cocoon, but you really shouldn't worry your little plebeian head about that.

The JCYDHAGAJ party wouldn't pay for much and wants you out of the house pretty quick. Cause they're tired of your lazy ass hanging around all day while they're out working their fingers to the bone. Life can be brutal and tough in the JCYDHAGAJ-led country, but, strangely enough, the country as a whole seems to get more done than the MKB-led country.

Incidentally, these descriptions don't necessarily correspond to our existing party alignments:

The Christian Right? MKB. Most leftists and statists? MKB.

Libertarians and small government Republicans? JCYDHAGAJ. Old School Democrats (Zell Miller)? JCYDHAGAJ.

I surmise some elements of the Christian right will object to putting Mama in charge — after all, that's Dad's job, isn't it? — but there's plenty of time to fine-tune the titles before the bumper stickers get printed.

Posted at 9:33 AM to Political Science Fiction


TrackBack: 7:57 AM, 2 December 2005
» Ronald Reagan has left the building from Mister Snitch!
The GOP is becoming The Party of Big Government, while the Democrats remain The Party of Frickin' Huge Government. Dustbury, on how to acknowledge this new reality....[read more]

The reason the Christian right is aligned with the MKB is because they have become lazy and gave the job of charity over to the government. Christ didn't implore people to petition their governments to look after the poor and homeless but that's where many churches seem to be these days. If all of the money wasted by these government bureaucracies were available to churches with a mind to help the downtrodden, there'd be a lot less downtrodden. I've seen several reports that say 5 out of every 6 dollars earmarked by government for programs to help the needy get lost in the bureaucracy. One of these was an article in a local NJ paper a few years ago that stated the Somerset County unemployment office distributed $1M of aid on a budget of $6.1M. It's a shame that the church has given up its responsibility to those in need and given that job to such an inefficient and wasteful organization.

Posted by: Thomas Pfau at 10:08 AM on 1 December 2005

... of course I've never had a governmental agency knock on my door and ask for money or try to convert me or sell me a WatchTower :) It might be worth the difference to not have the hassle (tongue in cheek :)

Posted by: Ron at 5:40 PM on 1 December 2005

If you want to pursue dichotomy further, note the temple was not made the agent of Christian charity. Very D.I.Y. instructions which should resonate well with GOP supporters and confound the religious right.

Posted by: opit at 5:17 PM on 3 December 2005