The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

26 December 2005

Sans more than serif

Can we call them "dongbats"? Dynamo Dave discovers Smutty Fonts, which I suppose proves that you're never too old to kern.

[Insert "caps lock" joke here]

Posted at 7:48 PM to PEBKAC


See, Charles, this is why I bow before you -- I just found the ugly things and made a stupid post, but you were able to incorporate THREE puns in your post about it!

Posted by: david at 9:24 PM on 26 December 2005

Three? Was "CAPS LOCK" a pun? A pun on what? Maybe I've led a sheltered life, 'cuz I didn't get that one.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 11:06 PM on 26 December 2005

I think the "Caps Lock" reference was an invitation to make up our own Caps Lock-related pun. Of course, Charles knows full well this cannot be done. He should retroactively get coal in his stocking.

Sean's right, there aren't three puns. Two completed, one eternally pending.

Why in the world am I sitting here anylyzing this?

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 1:58 AM on 27 December 2005

Jeez, do I have to spell everything out for you people?

1. "Sans More Than Serif" - although I suppose you have to know what the word "sans" means in order to get it

2. "Dongbats" - reference to "dong," which is sometimes taken to be slang for a penis

3. "Kern" - to tighten the space between letters -- or in this case, to reduce the amount of space between two bodies

Are we all clear on this now?

Posted by: david at 6:57 AM on 27 December 2005

The Caps Lock reference, which isn't funny in itself unless you're used to thinking of foreskin as yarmulke, was indeed an acknowledgment that there are plenty of opportunities here which I didn't take.

Posted by: CGHill at 7:19 AM on 27 December 2005

I should think very few men own both a yarmulke and a foreskin.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 10:12 AM on 27 December 2005

That would be my guess, yes.

Posted by: CGHill at 10:27 AM on 27 December 2005

> I should think very few men own both a yarmulke and a foreskin.

That is unless the yarmulke is made from.. oh, never mind.

Posted by: MikeH at 10:28 AM on 27 December 2005

Then, there's the old story of the Rabbi that took all of the foreskins he'd "harvested" to a tanner. He wanted them sewn together as a briefcase. When he received the finished piece, it was the size of his wallet. When he complained to the tanner, he was told that he just had to rub it for a little bit.....

Posted by: unimpressed at 3:03 PM on 27 December 2005

Hmm... I did forget to count the headline as a pun. At this point I more or less ASSUME the headline contains a pun. Don't know if it was his best pun, though. Charles has been punnier.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 8:58 PM on 27 December 2005

Since I started titling these things, I've gone through about 5700 titles (not counting four-hundred-odd Vents). They can't all be gems.

Posted by: CGHill at 9:03 PM on 27 December 2005

The headline was a witticism, but not a pun. A pun might have been 'glans serif,' or 'xxx-height.' But as it is, pace David, there were still only two puns in this post.

I still can't come up with a 'caps lock' joke. I suspect Snitch is right that it's a dead end.

You could have worked in 'embed,' as in "I wouldn't mind embedding some of these glyphs," but I'm glad you didn't, as it would have been crass.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 10:47 PM on 27 December 2005