The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

29 January 2006

How it's done

There is but one Decision Tree, ordained by the Almighty and formatted for your convenience by Francis W. Porretto, and it goes like this:

  1. Select a technique that you think will get you what you think you want.
  2. Will this technique require you to lose body parts, go to jail, or burn in Hell?
    • If so, return to step 1.
    • If not, proceed to step 3.
  3. Do a little of it.
  4. Are you at your goal, approaching it, or receding from it?
    • If at your goal, stop.
    • If approaching, return to step 3.
    • If receding, return to step 1.

There might be some human endeavor which this does not cover, but if so, it's one I have yet to discover.

Posted at 12:18 PM to Immaterial Witness


It won't cover sex changes. The would-be trangenderer would be oscillating between steps one and two forever.

Posted by: Sean Gleeson at 11:21 PM on 29 January 2006

If the speed of the oscillation is sufficiently high — no, never mind, let's not go there.

Posted by: CGHill at 7:17 AM on 30 January 2006