The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

5 February 2006

Memorandomization

Not having anywhere nearly as much fame as James Frey, I figure I'm going to have to punch up some of the incidents in my inevitable upcoming memoir, and where punching up isn't enough, I'm just going to have to fabricate things.

Top Ten possible embellishments:

  1. Actually worked at 142nd and Treadmill
  2. Once really ticked off Chuck Norris
  3. Only wrote 100 blog posts; the next 5900 were thinly-disguised rewrites thereof
  4. Those four seasons I spent in the NFL
  5. One World Tour actually included the International Space Station, though figuring the mileage proved to be too difficult
  6. All the Vents were written as one humongous text file back in 1995; I just pull out 5k chunks as needed
  7. Sent a check to the guy who runs SiteMeter
  8. My shelf contains only two records, both by the 1910 Fruitgum Company
  9. That torrid affair with Dawn Eden Rene Russo Ann Coulter Maria from Sesame Street Maureen Dowd Aisha Tyler [oh, forget it, no one is gonna believe any of these]
  10. Originally it was "She Who Is Not To Be Clothed"

Of course, I'll have to delete this post when the book comes out.

Posted at 1:11 PM to Listing to One Side


Coincidental?

Just before I read this post, I read the "quotes of the day" off my RSS Reader:

"Discretion is not the better part of biography." ~Lytton Strachey

Posted by: Bobby at 2:14 PM on 5 February 2006

You've convienently omitted that bank job you did in Topeka in '66.

Maureen Dowd (as a female, not as a writer, that's another story entirely) is a guilty pleasure, isn't she?

Posted by: John Salmon at 5:56 PM on 5 February 2006

I'd hardly call that "convenient."

As for MoDo: what with her reputation for smartassery and her complete lack of comprehension of that whole man/woman thing, she reminds me a great deal of, well, me, which is why I figure I'm probably not doing a great deal of damage to myself by saving her a spot on my dance card, especially since the chances that it will crowd out someone else are down there in the nanopercentile range.

Posted by: CGHill at 6:45 PM on 5 February 2006

I remember when Charles and Klinger pulled that Topeka heist. Boy that was sweet.

How did Dawn Eden get on this list with Russo and Dowd and the others? What, did she just get called up from the fantasy farm team?

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 6:50 PM on 6 February 2006

Of the individuals named, she's the only one I've actually had dinner with. :)

Posted by: CGHill at 7:00 PM on 6 February 2006