The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

9 February 2006

Killer shoes

5-inch stilettoOkay, they're a little bit on the high side — a five-inch heel, which not everyone can pull off with aplomb — but one Dax Moy, a British "health and fitness chief," arguably the greatest title since one of those garage inventors said his 90-mpg carburetor had been vetted by a "physics colonel," as reported about twenty years ago in Car and Driver, asserts that shoes of this sort constitute a health hazard. I'm sure they're a hazard to my health — show me these underneath a spectacular pair of legs (I have some specific ones in mind, and I'm not going to get more specific than that) and I am guaranteed a case of eyestrain — but are they really that bad?

In a word, yes, says Moy:

The forward tilting of the pelvis allows the abdominal contents to spill forward, producing that "pooch" which many women have wrongly come to think of a "fat stomach." In doing so, they compress internal organs in a condition known as visceroptosis. It doesn't stop there — neck, back, shoulder pain, stress headaches and even premature hair loss can all ensue as a result of ignoring the way your body is designed to work.

A Guardian columnist points out another issue:

Plus, of course, it makes it very difficult to shag short men, thereby foolishly cutting your chances of impregnation against a wall.

And surely we wouldn't want that, would we?

(Via Matt Rosenberg.)

Posted at 6:19 AM to Rag Trade


I used to wear them all the time--I guess it's too late for me. I must have missed a lot of short guys.

Posted by: miriam at 11:36 AM on 9 February 2006

But do they miss you after all these years?

Posted by: CGHill at 1:15 PM on 9 February 2006

5 inches?! WHY?

(I've never worn anything higher than 3 inches.)

Posted by: aldahlia at 1:50 PM on 9 February 2006

All these years I should have been wearing high heels so I would have an excuse for my "pooch" (other than blaming it on my two kids, of course)

Posted by: Lynn S at 4:46 PM on 9 February 2006

They'd make a handy weapon if someone tries to mug you. And in that color the blood won't show on the heel. :-)

Posted by: Stacey at 11:03 PM on 9 February 2006

At a certain (more pragmatic) age, every woman "used to" wear such shoes. (Except Dowd. She wears them for photo ops, so that when she tells men they're useless, maybe they'll actually care. It just doesn't work to tell men they're not necessary if they're thinking 'well, I got no use for you either'.)

It's not news that they're bad for you. Or that they get a certain kind of attention. That's the tradeoff.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 2:48 AM on 11 February 2006