The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

27 February 2006


I am normally not one to grumble about plastic surgery — hey, it's your body — but this seems a trifle weird:

Women have resorted to backstreet hymen repair for centuries in religions and cultures in which marrying as a virgin is sacred and losing your "maidenhead" before matrimony can mean shame, or even being put to death. But an increasing number of women ... are now electing to be "revirginised" using modern techniques as a purely cosmetic or lifestyle choice, to "put the sparkle" back into their marriage or give their husband a surprise on the second honeymoon.

They usually opt also to have one of the new "designer vagina" procedures, such as tightening up of the vaginal canal slackened by childbirth, or the cosmetic trimming of enlarged labia.

Even if I didn't live in a place where tattoo shops are illegal, I might think this was a bit much. Then again, I own no such, um, plumbing, so perhaps it's not for me to say.

Of course, if a monologue should ensue, I reserve the right to dismiss it as so much twaddle.

(Via McGehee, who also resisted the obvious "cherry" jokes.)

Posted at 8:15 PM to Table for One

I'm assuming that the pun in your next-to-last sentence is intentional, Chaz. ;-) And isn't there an entire theater presentation on those monologues? *G*

Posted by: Mary Stella at 9:41 PM on 27 February 2006

"Presentation"? Why, it's an annual bleepfest.

Posted by: CGHill at 10:30 PM on 27 February 2006

Words fail me. What is the new hymen made from? Does the customer get her choice of colors, textures, and breaking strengths? Regarding that last, what sort of feedback would you think the surgeons get from their customers...and their customers' husbands?

Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at 3:46 AM on 28 February 2006

In-and-out-patient surgery?

Posted by: unimpressed at 5:38 AM on 28 February 2006

Somehow this all seems to evoke the old joke:

"If I'd known you were a virgin," he said, "I'd have taken more time."

"If I'd known you had more time," she said, "I'd have taken off my pantyhose."

Posted by: CGHill at 7:15 AM on 28 February 2006